The Least I Can Do

If Alzheimer’s Disease were a human it would most likely resemble a malicious thief cloaked in black with an evil glare and a wicked grin. Once he gains entry into your world he does not go for the usual bait. He has no interest in the flat screen TV, the expensive laptop or even the diamond necklace. This villain goes after the real treasure, that which you hold near and dear to your heart, the most valuable of possessions, your memories.

It seems so unfair. My grandmother, Marianna Naylor, spent a lifetime putting everyone else first. She is a wonderful woman. In her youth she played basketball and a mean round of golf. Her grandkids called her lead foot because we knew that when you rode with Nana you were gonna get there in a hurry. This was one busy lady and she did not have time to fool around. When she got behind the wheel she thought she was Mario Andretti and she was going to get from point A to point B without wasting one precious second. I LOVED her car rides! On those back country roads, it was the next best thing to a roller coaster! :)

My grandfather died when Nana was in her forties. She eventually remarried. Her second husband Bill lost his first wife to cancer. They had one son Billy, who was severely mentally disabled. He lived in a school geared toward dealing with his disabilities most of his life. He would come home for breaks throughout the year during holidays and in the summer. Billy was unable to do much of anything without assistance. So Nana, being the type of person that she was, would bath him, dress him, feed him and care for him whenever he was home. Truth be told she spoiled him a bit too. The two things in this world that Billy liked best were ice cream and listening to his records. Billy was unable to talk but that didn’t mean that he could not communicate. He would slap his leg repeatedly to express his approval or excitement. He would look away to tell you no. I remember Nana asking him if he would like some ice cream and he would respond with a big smile and multiple thigh slaps. Even after Bill died, Nana still continued to visit and care for Billy. I remember as a young, clueless teenager asking her once why she felt so guilty about not getting to see him as often as she did. “He isn’t even yours, Nana.” I said. She told me that his mother was a lovely person and if something had happened to her she would want someone to take care of her children for her. “It’s the least I can do, Laurie” she said. It never even occurred to her not to love him as her own.

Nana was a lady that believed in giving back. I remember her working with the civic club each year around Autumn Glory. That was a big festival in her hometown and she almost always spent it working or helping out in some way. Every year she would make the long trip down off the mountain to go and peel apples for the Apple Harvest Festival to benefit the Methodist Children’s Home in Burlington, WV. She was always busy with her church and she never hesitated to help out someone in need. Nana was a good friend not only to the women that she knew her whole life but to me. She was the one person I knew growing up, that I could tell anything in the world to. There were many times that I bared my soul on her back porch over some cookies and a glass of milk. She would listen carefully and offer up little gems of wisdom that I was usually too stubborn to follow. Still, she had her little victories. There were many stupid mistakes that she kept me from making. Many wrong paths that she helped me avoid. She guided me in a remarkably kind, caring, almost passive way. Heck, that’s probably why I listened to her. She never judged me or anyone else. She was and still is my hero. 

I don’t get to see my Nana as often as I would like. Her time is split between my aunt’s house in Atlanta and my parent's home in Maryland. I try to write or call as often as I can but talking to her sometimes is heartbreaking. Nana has Alzheimer’s and it is slowly taking her away. She still knows who I am but she forgets my children’s names. She will ask me the same question about how old they are and what grade they are in several times in the same conversation. She gets increasingly frustrated with not being able to remember things and her sentences are starting to become confused and somewhat garbled. Seeing someone as beautiful inside and out as my dear grandmother succumb to this ghastly disease seems so completely unjust and wrong. I was praying (whining would be a better word) about it to God the other day when it hit me. Nana may have Alzheimer’s but she also has two devoted daughters at her side to care for her. She is surrounded by family and loved ones and that is a huge blessing. I have to believe that God has and will continue to look out for my Nana not just because of all the good she has done in her lifetime but because of the kind of God that He is. Nana has spent a lifetime planting seed and one day, I know she will be in a place where she will be able to reap what she has sown. Where her good deeds will shine like stars in the night sky and the selfless love that she has shown will be celebrated and more importantly remembered.

I want to cherish every moment I get with my grandmother so for this week’s pay it forward I am going to get pictures of my family developed weekly to send to her with brief descriptions of who and what is going on in the photo. Hopefully it will make help her feel more involved and when she is having a bad day maybe it will help to jar her memory. I love her so much. She has taught me more than she will ever know and if she asks me why I’m doing this, I’ll tell her “It’s the least I can do, Nana.” 

Laurie