Parenting teenagers is not for the faint of heart. It takes time, courage, lots of money, nerves of steel and something I am careful not to pray for, patience. That said, I have been blessed with two wonderful kids. Proof positive that sometimes you don't get what you deserve. My daughter is a talented, driven, intelligent and beautiful young lady who is about to begin college in the fall. At this point in time she sees me as an overprotective, overbearing, and occasional psycho mom who knows nothing about anything and just doesn't get it. My son is a bright, handsome, laid back freshman in high school who just finished driver's ed. He still finds me bearable most days. Ah, but he is young. Give it time.
Raising children in today's world is quite a challenge. It isn't about watching them as they play outside anymore, it is about checking their computer histories and following their social networking sites. It isn't enough to know their friends, you have to follow their friends list and know who they are texting nonstop, day and night. You need passwords and tech savvy just to begin to keep up. We have all the stuff that our parents had to deal with in addition to all those modern creations like texting while driving and cyber bullying. It can be nerve racking, overwhelming and exhausting, but I still wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
Being a parent forces you to up your game. It changes who you are and is virtually impossible to do while being self centered. It is a huge responsibility because you literally have someone else's life in your hands. It's up to you to teach them about the world, to prepare them for life on their own, and to give them the tools they need to cope with it all as they go. Children come with no how-to manual, no money back guarantee. You sign on for life and even though they will eventually leave you, they will always be your baby.
The hardest part about parenting comes when they think they are grown. They begin to pull away attempting to forge their own life path. This creates inevitable conflict and that conflict hurts. Sometimes amidst the yelling and crying I wish I could tell my kids what is really on my heart. So here it goes,
Things I Wish My Kids Knew:
- That parenting is the hardest job I have ever had and I entered it as everyone does, with virtually no idea of what I was doing.
- When you hurt, physically or emotionally, I hurt too and I would give anything, absolutely anything to take away your pain.
- How disappointed I am with myself when I lose my cool and get angry with you. How I wish I could beat that demon once and for all.
- That I want to know who your friends are not because I want to control who you have in your life but because I believe that you deserve to spend your time with people that will love you for everything that you are.
- It is ok to admit that you need help, even mine. It is ok to cry. Neither means you are weak. It only means you are human.
- You aren't always going to fit in. No one does. It doesn't mean that you don't have value. It just means that some people aren't smart enough to see it.
- Happy is a choice.
- True success in life isn't about how much you accumulate. It's about how much you give back.
- The best way to forget your own trouble is to help someone else with theirs.
- Anything you go through no matter how bad, can be turned into something good if you let it.
- Regardless of how hard things seem, remember with prayer, hope, love and a little time they will get better.
- All I have ever wanted is for you to be happy, fulfilled and loved.
- I have never been, nor will I ever be the perfect parent that you deserve, but no one will ever love you more than I.
As I thought about this week's pay it forward project I decided to support some fellow parents in their perilous journey. The kids I teach are only in middle school and God love 'em, many of these poor parents don't have any idea what they are in for. So I think this week I'm going to give them a little encouragement via emails letting them know that they are doing something right. I have always wanted to do this! I'll pick a few great, well mannered, well behaved kids from each class and send their parents an email letting them know what a fantastic job they are doing and what an awesome child they are raising. Good kids don't just happen, it takes lots of hard work and love and I can certainly empathize, I am right there in the trenches with them! So here's to all those imperfect parents out there that refuse to give up. Keep fighting the good fight, for they will be gone before ya know it! :)
Laurie
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