If I Had It To Do Again

      Regret. It's an ugly word. I guess everybody has some of it if they are completely honest. I know there are a few decisions in my life that I would love to have back. For starters, I would have taken the check oil light way more seriously when it came on instead of continuing along on my all day shopping trip. I would never have cut my hair as short as I did when I was pregnant with Colton and I definitely would have taken a little more time getting dressed on the morning that I showed up late to work at Virginia Power with the back of my skirt unzipped. Most importantly, I would have double checked how to properly say the word "rabbit" in Spanish before I sent my entire Mexican family away from the dinner table gasping and laughing in pure astonishment. Yeah, I'd say I have some regrets.

      If I had it to do all again, I would like to have back the careless way I treated some of the people in my life especially when I was young. I didn't know it then, but I had so very much to learn about life and love and the value of a human heart. I wish I had back the times in high school when I saw someone sitting alone or having a bad day. I wish I would have taken the opportunity to reach out, to care, to really understand. I wish that I would have had the maturity to be kind instead of trying to be cool. My number one biggest regret though is the way that I treated my kid brother. Instead of being a loving, caring big sister, I was too often cold, aloof and self centered. I wish I would have been the sort of sibling that was understanding, patient, kind, fun and always there, no matter what.

      The interesting thing about the lessons in this life is that they keep coming around until we learn them. Some of mine have made too many laps around the track to count. I am grateful though for the chance to redeem myself occasionally. While I can't go back and make it up to those folks I went to school with way too many years ago, I can make it up to that little girl in the corner crying because of what someone called her and I can sit at the art table with the child that is all alone and treat her like she is the only thing that matters in that moment. Most importantly, I can still be that kind of big sister now that I should have always been. For this weeks pay it forward, I am going to make it a point to call or text my baby brother more frequently and really stay involved in his life. Who knows, maybe this is one lesson I will finally get right.

Laurie