Let 'Em See Your Joy!

      We all have those people in our lives. You know the ones. The Negative Nellies. The Wild Eyed Complainers. The One Uppers. The "I Don't Really Hear a Word You Are Saying So I Will Just Wait 'Til You Stop Talking So I Can Start" Crowd. The mean, nasty cruel folks who derive great pleasure and often make it a point to participate in the misery of those around them. Given the current state of affairs in this world it is almost ridiculously easy for these sorts to not only survive but thrive. One viewing of the daily news or one discussion at the water cooler and they have ample ammunition for another day of anguish, negativity and pot stirring.

      I often wonder just what makes these folks click. To paraphrase ol' Dr. Phil, they must get some kind of pay off from their behavior or they simply wouldn't do it. I fight the urge at times to just confront them with his famous line, "How's that workin' for ya?" What could their pay off possibly be? I suppose, constantly dwelling on the bad things or the calamities of others makes them feel better about what is spinning out of control in their own lives. Maybe it fills some hole or takes the place of loneliness or sadness or pain. Perhaps it is simply a bad habit and that habit has now become too comfortable to let go.

      While I do my best to avoid these people I have to admit that sometimes I fall victim to their well laid traps. Their land minds are carefully placed and cleverly disguised. They take on a variety of forms. Sometimes they suck me into a slanderous conversation. Sometimes I say something I shouldn't. Sometimes I remain quiet when I know I should speak. Sometimes their remarks are addressed directly to me or more commonly about me with the sole intention of evoking a response. Sometimes, against all better judgement, I respond.

      Sometimes it is the bigger picture that gets to me. Sometimes it is the pure and simple fact that so many of the bad guys seem to prosper in this world and that prosperity is usually at the grave expense of someone else. Sometimes its the powers that be that get to me, the folks that hold our futures in their hands and only seem concerned with their own individual greed or advancement. Sometimes its just that Karma seems to be asleep at the wheel.

      As I observe these persons making their way through life, all I can do is pray for them and my reactions to them. I pray that one day their dark veil will be lifted and they might just see a glimmer of that beautiful light streaming in through the clouds. That their life, instead of being a string of constant maladies, might one day transform into a beacon of hope, something to look forward too, a source of joy. Until then though, I have to find a way to tolerate them.

      I have found one profound weapon in the face of such negativity and that weapon is joy. I have made up my mind that those people who would derive such pleasure in watching me suffer or fall will never be granted that satisfaction because although I will face setbacks, I will never concede. I will choose to focus on the gifts. I will wake up thankful every day. I have no control over other individuals and their actions but I do have control over mine. I choose Light. I choose Joy.

      One delightful byproduct of that simple choice is that it drives the Negative Nellies crazy. Think about it, if the mainstay of their existence is to rejoice in someone else's misery what better way to defeat them than to simply be happy, ridiculously, remarkably, inexplicably happy.

      So let 'em see your joy! :) Smile and make 'em wander what you are up to! Walk, no, run, heck turn a few cart wheels, on the bright side and watch those other folks and their negativity fade hopelessly into the background.

      So go on, have a wonderfully, joyful week!

      Laurie

   

Better Than Last Year

      One of the wrestling coaches at our school has a sign on his door that reads "Today Your Job is to Be Better Than You Were Yesterday." I love that quote. I would love to live that quote. Ah but then, life happens.

      During December and January I took what I would consider a writer's sabbatical. A little break was necessary to clear my head, readjust, regroup and just relax. The last few months got a wee bit out of hand. I was working too much, breaking too little and the inevitable burn out ensued. So I took some time off to establish a new direction, take a hard look at some life goals and reinvent the bucket list. Well, to be honest I didn't actually get that far yet but alas, like myself, it is a work in progress.

      Last year I set a goal to pay back the kindness of my parents through what else, weekly acts of kindness. I learned a great deal through my pay it forward deeds but probably the biggest thing was that I still have a long way to go in my quest to be a more useful human being and if I am to achieve that objective in this lifetime I will have to live yet another hundred years or more, maybe two. So for the remaining eleven months of 2014, I have decided it is time to continue my little endeavor and to carry on my quest for personal development by focusing on my problems less and on the good more. I want to be able to see the world and people through God's eyes because my view is often times faulty, cloudy and way too distorted. So I will continue to write. Not for glory, or riches but in the hope that one day when I reach the end of this particular journey, I might have inadvertently learned something.

      The faults, wrongs and injustices of this world could be readily argued but if one takes the time to look, mixed in among them like little jewels blinking in the sun, are so many blessings, gifts, objects of beauty, and moments of joy. What we choose to focus on makes all the difference! Do we take the easy, wide, down hill road and focus on the negative or do we choose every single day to look at life not through rose colored glasses but through the lens of light. Nobody, anywhere that I have ever found, can deliver on that "rose garden," that Lynn Anderson sang about in 1970, (dating myself on that one) so perhaps it is time to stop complaining that roses have thorns and begin thanking the powers that be that those thorns still have roses. No matter what, we always have the gift of choice at least as far as what goes on in our own hearts and minds. It is all a matter of focus. This year, I choose to focus on the good, the inspiring, the beautiful and the joyful. This year my job is to be better than last year!

      Here's to a wonderful 2014!

      Laurie

The Heart Tugs

      As most of you know, I am a teacher. I supplement my income by tutoring and the most frequently requested tutor is a math tutor. I am an art teacher with a unique background in math so I tutor math. Usually I deal in 8th grade or 9th grade math but recently I was asked to take on a 6th grader. When I was first asked about this last gig I was hesitant. Algebra I like. Algebra I get. 6th grade? All I could think, is "Oh Lord, another prep to do." Then I am told that the child has some issues and will require some patience. I said "no." But my friend was persistent so I eventually caved. What can I say, I am pathetically weak.

      So I begin tutoring my new girl. I figured I needed another pay it forward so she would be it, like it or not. Now the first session went ok, the honeymoon period we call it but by the second session, the gloves were off. Attitude is not nearly strong enough a word. I politely went to my friend and attempted yet again to decline and I think I nearly succeeded except for that little tug at my heart. You know the kind. The kind that you just can't say no to. The kind you can't ignore. I had almost made it to the door when I turned around and told my friend I'd give it one more go. All I could think as I was leaving is "You are such a sucker, you are such an idiot! You so don't have time for this." What is crazy is that I knew despite my own inner voice that it was the right thing to do. I just didn't know why, yet.

      The next session was the tell all. I got to the root of her attitude. The weekend prior to our little blow up she had been beaten up, bad enough to send her to the hospital and that's not even the worst part. The assault was carried out by two older male children. Now this young lady is in the 6th grade and might weigh 70 lbs soaking wet, if you weighed her with her book bag on. I was appalled, went straight to my friend and was told yes, it was turned in, yes, mom knows, yes, mom is dealing with it. Now this is what this little girl deals with on the weekends from her so called "friends" and I'm wondering why she can't concentrate on math. Geesh!

      So now our regular tutoring sessions have turned into math tutoring/mentoring sessions. Alas, the reason I couldn't say no. She wasn't put in my path because she needed help with math, she was put in my path because she needed help with math AND self esteem and God knows what else! My point is, there is a reason that I couldn't say no, even though everything in me wanted to. Maybe I can help, maybe I can't, but I have to try.

      A few days after our fateful math lesson I came across this quote by Joel Osteen:

"Your job is not to judge. Your job is not to figure out if someone deserves something. Your job is to lift the fallen, to restore the broken, and to heal the hurting."

      Lesson learned. Don't ignore the heart tugs.

Laurie

The Thanksgiving Board

      For this week's pay it forward, I decided to get a little bit of a jump start on the Thanksgiving holiday spirit. I really wanted my students to think about what was important to them and to voice that in some unique way. I came up with the idea of giving the kids free reign with my white board at the front of the room. I called it the Thanksgiving Board and I wrote "Things I Am Thankful For:" at the top and got them started by writing one thing I was thankful for in a cool graffiti font. I wrote "My Students."

     You see teaching was not exactly my first career choice. Teaching kind of found me, not the other way around and I thank God for that, for it was his vision not mine, that brought me down this weird and winding road.

      Oh, I have my days. There are plenty of pity parties when I hit a low, look at the bills and start calculating how much money I might have made had I stayed in the engineering field, but then I have a week like this one.

      I explained my Thanksgiving Board to my first class of the day. I gave them some rules. Kids like structure. No erasing anyone else's work. Nothing inappropriate. I reserve the right to edit out whatever I see fit. I told them "You can write anything at all that you are thankful for even coffee and chocolate :)  but once you get all of the shallow stuff out of the way, I want you to go a little deeper. What are you really grateful for? What freedoms do you have because of where you live and where you are born and due to the sacrifices of many brave men and women? What joys do you have in your life? What, or better yet who, makes this life worth living?"

      At first the children just kind of looked at the board, then one brave soul ventured up front and began to write. I got some comical stuff. One young lady wrote that she was very thankful for "hot guys" as she put it and the band members of One Direction to be more specific. Once she got the ball rolling the flood gates opened and everyone wanted some space on the board. Let's see, there was watermelon, mine craft, x box, chewing gum, Saturdays and easy math tests, but their were also a few more interesting items. One little girl wrote that she was grateful to be healthy, impressive insight for a seventh grader. One student that had recently undergone a very serious surgery and health scare wrote one word: life.

      But my favorite one had to be from that little girl that just got back from time out of school due to the death of her grandmother. That sweet girl filled an entire three foot sized bubble of things that just she was thankful for. She wrote the individual names of all of her family members. There must have been twenty or so. She stopped a couple of times to be sure that she didn't miss anyone. She wrote her big sister's name extra large with hearts around it. That made me smile and I got to thinking that sometimes it is true what they say about the rain making us appreciate the sunshine. What a brave and wonderful young lady. She is only in the sixth grade but she gets it.

      I know what I am thankful for this year, my family, my health, a job that I love and more importantly my students that I get the privilege to teach. I am truly thankful for their joy, their laughter, their fun, their silliness, their ability to see things in such a simple, unimpeded way. They teach me more than I will ever teach them. God knew what he was doing when he pointed me, well more like pushed me, in this direction. He was giving me yet another wonderful gift to be thankful for.  :)

      Laurie

     
   

Some Things Not Even Chocolate Can Fix

      This has been one of those weeks. Can I get an "Amen" from the peanut gallery? I feel like a metal ball in a pinball machine getting bounced around and popped at every turn. Apparently I am not alone. 

 

      I have noticed quite a few downtrodden faces this week, more than the normal average. It's spreading like a virus. So in an effort to douse my sorrows I did what any woman would do to feel better. No not drink a glass of wine, although that thought crossed my mind once or twice. I am talking about eating chocolate!

      Fortunately the band and chorus at school were conducting a candy sale this week as a fundraiser. They stored the culinary delights in our teacher's lounge and when you walked in you were hit with the most amazing aroma of milk chocolate. Is it possible to gain weight by breathing? Anyway I shelled out my dollar and took a few minutes to delight in one of life's true pleasures, stress eating. And it worked! Well at least for a little while. 

      Children kept coming up to me all week trying to sell me more and more candy. It is hard to resist those cute little faces so I found myself with a rather large supply of chocolate bars. Enter this week's pay it forward. Look for the most down trodden kid in class and give them a treat.

      In the first class it went to a child that has had a hard time this week fitting in. The second to someone that just went through a rather traumatic event. The next bar went to a fellow teacher who was having a bad day. But the best one didn't even get a candy bar. This little one looked a bit down but she is not really a talker. So I asked her if she would like a candy bar. "Candy can't fix this Mrs. Sloan," she said. I asked her if she wanted to talk about it. She said that her grandmother died last night. Aw, man. Well, she teared up, so I teared up and I hugged her and told how truly sorry I was. She said she was headed to the funeral and would be missing a few days of school. I told her I would miss her and that I'd be thinking of her and her family. What a sweet baby and she was right, candy couldn't fix that one. 

      I have to wonder if I hadn't been looking for someone to give the candy to, if I would have had the chance to talk to her. I would like to think that I would have taken the time to figure it out but hey, with a class full of rambunctious youngins, who knows? Funny how things work out. 

      You have probably noticed that I haven't had as many posts lately. That is due in part to the fact that I have picked up another job. In my quest to become financially stable I missed a few weeks of blogging and serious pay it forwarding. Today made me wonder what else I may have missed. 

      Have a good rest of the week and try not to miss out on an opportunity to help someone out along the way! :)

Laurie

Thanks Coach!

      Unfortunately all too often in my profession, one sees the harm done to children by outside influences beyond their control. Frequently it is the adults charged with their protection that knowingly or unknowingly drop the ball. Don't get me wrong, I get how hard parenting is, believe me. It is hands down the toughest job in the world. It takes patience, commitment, time and a little luck. Done well it changes who you are and if you are not whole when you start the process it is nearly impossible to get it right. Sadly there are a lot of damaged people out there raising children and they set in motion a gloomy legacy of hurt. If they are extremely lucky their kids find someone in their life to brush 'em off and love 'em through it. This might happen at church, at school, within the extended family unit or maybe even on the football field.

     Coaches work long, thankless, underpaid hours. Many are parent volunteers. These are the folks that give me hope. It is refreshing to see adults so plugged in. Parents and coaches who put their kids first no matter how many practices or games they have to drive them too, no matter how many times they stay up helping an exhausted kid with homework and no matter how many late night dinners they have to endure. Fast food still counts for dinner, right? These coaches are not only looking out for their kids, they are there looking out for the players of the parents that can't get off work early to get to practice. They take the new kid under their wing while staying on the student that is behind in math to be sure he gets all his work done. They are more than coaches they are role models and leaders. They are mentors and they help fill in the gaps that we as parents might miss. 

      Maybe not all coaches rise to this challenge but the football coaches at our school definitely do and I feel very fortunate to work with them. This week's pay it forward was simple: homemade pumpkin pie after practice for these dedicated guys. So here's to all those men and women out there who donate their time to test their patience with a bunch of wiry, energetic, off the wall children. Thanks for all you do and for helping our kids through that awkward and sometimes rough transition toward adulthood! You are the epitome of pay it forward!

Laurie   

Just Be

      I believe in taking a few minutes each day to just be. I have learned from years of experience, big work loads and high stress levels that learning to slow down, just a little every day is the difference between a freaked out Laurie and a "how can I help you" Laurie. It is easy, for me at least, to get wrapped up in the day to day grind. The responsibilities, the work, the duties, the "get er done" stuff can easily consume me if I'm not careful.

      I can usually handle the non stop rush for a few days or so before I begin to crack. First there is a quick, snappy response followed by an uncharacteristically mean one and finally I retreat inside myself, not noticing anything or anyone but the work at hand. What a waste of my time, of precious resources, of life. When I get like that I miss the big picture, the reason for being here. So, I meditate. I pray. I sit still, no matter how difficult that may be, and I let God calm me down. I give him permission, like he needs it, to run the show for just a little while.

      This daily break is a form of therapy for me and it truly works wonders.  It is during such sessions that I have the time to breathe, to think, to be inspired. I am always on the look out for the next pay it forward opportunity and I am sure that it is no coincidence that those ideas flow more easily during these down times. I have found through the years that most of my questions get answered if only I take the time to listen for the response.

      This weeks pay it forward idea came during one such be still session and it is such a simple one. This week I decided to do something nice for my favorite local businesses. I got a Yelp account and went online to write some reviews. It was such an easy thing to do but I know from being in business myself how helpful it is to read not only what you can improve on but what you are doing right. It is a difficult climate for businesses right now and as an owner and a manager it is frustrating sometimes to be in charge of so many other people. Everything they do reflects on you, good or bad. So this week, I decided to help them see the good and catch them doing something right. I wrote honest, heart felt reviews about the businesses that my family and I frequent on a regular basis and why we do so. I hope that it gives some overworked managers and their employees a boost today!

      I hope you have a wonderful day and a great weekend, and don't forget to take a minute or two to recharge you batteries and just be. :)

Laurie