The Heart Tugs

      As most of you know, I am a teacher. I supplement my income by tutoring and the most frequently requested tutor is a math tutor. I am an art teacher with a unique background in math so I tutor math. Usually I deal in 8th grade or 9th grade math but recently I was asked to take on a 6th grader. When I was first asked about this last gig I was hesitant. Algebra I like. Algebra I get. 6th grade? All I could think, is "Oh Lord, another prep to do." Then I am told that the child has some issues and will require some patience. I said "no." But my friend was persistent so I eventually caved. What can I say, I am pathetically weak.

      So I begin tutoring my new girl. I figured I needed another pay it forward so she would be it, like it or not. Now the first session went ok, the honeymoon period we call it but by the second session, the gloves were off. Attitude is not nearly strong enough a word. I politely went to my friend and attempted yet again to decline and I think I nearly succeeded except for that little tug at my heart. You know the kind. The kind that you just can't say no to. The kind you can't ignore. I had almost made it to the door when I turned around and told my friend I'd give it one more go. All I could think as I was leaving is "You are such a sucker, you are such an idiot! You so don't have time for this." What is crazy is that I knew despite my own inner voice that it was the right thing to do. I just didn't know why, yet.

      The next session was the tell all. I got to the root of her attitude. The weekend prior to our little blow up she had been beaten up, bad enough to send her to the hospital and that's not even the worst part. The assault was carried out by two older male children. Now this young lady is in the 6th grade and might weigh 70 lbs soaking wet, if you weighed her with her book bag on. I was appalled, went straight to my friend and was told yes, it was turned in, yes, mom knows, yes, mom is dealing with it. Now this is what this little girl deals with on the weekends from her so called "friends" and I'm wondering why she can't concentrate on math. Geesh!

      So now our regular tutoring sessions have turned into math tutoring/mentoring sessions. Alas, the reason I couldn't say no. She wasn't put in my path because she needed help with math, she was put in my path because she needed help with math AND self esteem and God knows what else! My point is, there is a reason that I couldn't say no, even though everything in me wanted to. Maybe I can help, maybe I can't, but I have to try.

      A few days after our fateful math lesson I came across this quote by Joel Osteen:

"Your job is not to judge. Your job is not to figure out if someone deserves something. Your job is to lift the fallen, to restore the broken, and to heal the hurting."

      Lesson learned. Don't ignore the heart tugs.

Laurie