The Heart Tugs

      As most of you know, I am a teacher. I supplement my income by tutoring and the most frequently requested tutor is a math tutor. I am an art teacher with a unique background in math so I tutor math. Usually I deal in 8th grade or 9th grade math but recently I was asked to take on a 6th grader. When I was first asked about this last gig I was hesitant. Algebra I like. Algebra I get. 6th grade? All I could think, is "Oh Lord, another prep to do." Then I am told that the child has some issues and will require some patience. I said "no." But my friend was persistent so I eventually caved. What can I say, I am pathetically weak.

      So I begin tutoring my new girl. I figured I needed another pay it forward so she would be it, like it or not. Now the first session went ok, the honeymoon period we call it but by the second session, the gloves were off. Attitude is not nearly strong enough a word. I politely went to my friend and attempted yet again to decline and I think I nearly succeeded except for that little tug at my heart. You know the kind. The kind that you just can't say no to. The kind you can't ignore. I had almost made it to the door when I turned around and told my friend I'd give it one more go. All I could think as I was leaving is "You are such a sucker, you are such an idiot! You so don't have time for this." What is crazy is that I knew despite my own inner voice that it was the right thing to do. I just didn't know why, yet.

      The next session was the tell all. I got to the root of her attitude. The weekend prior to our little blow up she had been beaten up, bad enough to send her to the hospital and that's not even the worst part. The assault was carried out by two older male children. Now this young lady is in the 6th grade and might weigh 70 lbs soaking wet, if you weighed her with her book bag on. I was appalled, went straight to my friend and was told yes, it was turned in, yes, mom knows, yes, mom is dealing with it. Now this is what this little girl deals with on the weekends from her so called "friends" and I'm wondering why she can't concentrate on math. Geesh!

      So now our regular tutoring sessions have turned into math tutoring/mentoring sessions. Alas, the reason I couldn't say no. She wasn't put in my path because she needed help with math, she was put in my path because she needed help with math AND self esteem and God knows what else! My point is, there is a reason that I couldn't say no, even though everything in me wanted to. Maybe I can help, maybe I can't, but I have to try.

      A few days after our fateful math lesson I came across this quote by Joel Osteen:

"Your job is not to judge. Your job is not to figure out if someone deserves something. Your job is to lift the fallen, to restore the broken, and to heal the hurting."

      Lesson learned. Don't ignore the heart tugs.

Laurie

The Thanksgiving Board

      For this week's pay it forward, I decided to get a little bit of a jump start on the Thanksgiving holiday spirit. I really wanted my students to think about what was important to them and to voice that in some unique way. I came up with the idea of giving the kids free reign with my white board at the front of the room. I called it the Thanksgiving Board and I wrote "Things I Am Thankful For:" at the top and got them started by writing one thing I was thankful for in a cool graffiti font. I wrote "My Students."

     You see teaching was not exactly my first career choice. Teaching kind of found me, not the other way around and I thank God for that, for it was his vision not mine, that brought me down this weird and winding road.

      Oh, I have my days. There are plenty of pity parties when I hit a low, look at the bills and start calculating how much money I might have made had I stayed in the engineering field, but then I have a week like this one.

      I explained my Thanksgiving Board to my first class of the day. I gave them some rules. Kids like structure. No erasing anyone else's work. Nothing inappropriate. I reserve the right to edit out whatever I see fit. I told them "You can write anything at all that you are thankful for even coffee and chocolate :)  but once you get all of the shallow stuff out of the way, I want you to go a little deeper. What are you really grateful for? What freedoms do you have because of where you live and where you are born and due to the sacrifices of many brave men and women? What joys do you have in your life? What, or better yet who, makes this life worth living?"

      At first the children just kind of looked at the board, then one brave soul ventured up front and began to write. I got some comical stuff. One young lady wrote that she was very thankful for "hot guys" as she put it and the band members of One Direction to be more specific. Once she got the ball rolling the flood gates opened and everyone wanted some space on the board. Let's see, there was watermelon, mine craft, x box, chewing gum, Saturdays and easy math tests, but their were also a few more interesting items. One little girl wrote that she was grateful to be healthy, impressive insight for a seventh grader. One student that had recently undergone a very serious surgery and health scare wrote one word: life.

      But my favorite one had to be from that little girl that just got back from time out of school due to the death of her grandmother. That sweet girl filled an entire three foot sized bubble of things that just she was thankful for. She wrote the individual names of all of her family members. There must have been twenty or so. She stopped a couple of times to be sure that she didn't miss anyone. She wrote her big sister's name extra large with hearts around it. That made me smile and I got to thinking that sometimes it is true what they say about the rain making us appreciate the sunshine. What a brave and wonderful young lady. She is only in the sixth grade but she gets it.

      I know what I am thankful for this year, my family, my health, a job that I love and more importantly my students that I get the privilege to teach. I am truly thankful for their joy, their laughter, their fun, their silliness, their ability to see things in such a simple, unimpeded way. They teach me more than I will ever teach them. God knew what he was doing when he pointed me, well more like pushed me, in this direction. He was giving me yet another wonderful gift to be thankful for.  :)

      Laurie

     
   

Some Things Not Even Chocolate Can Fix

      This has been one of those weeks. Can I get an "Amen" from the peanut gallery? I feel like a metal ball in a pinball machine getting bounced around and popped at every turn. Apparently I am not alone. 

 

      I have noticed quite a few downtrodden faces this week, more than the normal average. It's spreading like a virus. So in an effort to douse my sorrows I did what any woman would do to feel better. No not drink a glass of wine, although that thought crossed my mind once or twice. I am talking about eating chocolate!

      Fortunately the band and chorus at school were conducting a candy sale this week as a fundraiser. They stored the culinary delights in our teacher's lounge and when you walked in you were hit with the most amazing aroma of milk chocolate. Is it possible to gain weight by breathing? Anyway I shelled out my dollar and took a few minutes to delight in one of life's true pleasures, stress eating. And it worked! Well at least for a little while. 

      Children kept coming up to me all week trying to sell me more and more candy. It is hard to resist those cute little faces so I found myself with a rather large supply of chocolate bars. Enter this week's pay it forward. Look for the most down trodden kid in class and give them a treat.

      In the first class it went to a child that has had a hard time this week fitting in. The second to someone that just went through a rather traumatic event. The next bar went to a fellow teacher who was having a bad day. But the best one didn't even get a candy bar. This little one looked a bit down but she is not really a talker. So I asked her if she would like a candy bar. "Candy can't fix this Mrs. Sloan," she said. I asked her if she wanted to talk about it. She said that her grandmother died last night. Aw, man. Well, she teared up, so I teared up and I hugged her and told how truly sorry I was. She said she was headed to the funeral and would be missing a few days of school. I told her I would miss her and that I'd be thinking of her and her family. What a sweet baby and she was right, candy couldn't fix that one. 

      I have to wonder if I hadn't been looking for someone to give the candy to, if I would have had the chance to talk to her. I would like to think that I would have taken the time to figure it out but hey, with a class full of rambunctious youngins, who knows? Funny how things work out. 

      You have probably noticed that I haven't had as many posts lately. That is due in part to the fact that I have picked up another job. In my quest to become financially stable I missed a few weeks of blogging and serious pay it forwarding. Today made me wonder what else I may have missed. 

      Have a good rest of the week and try not to miss out on an opportunity to help someone out along the way! :)

Laurie

Thanks Coach!

      Unfortunately all too often in my profession, one sees the harm done to children by outside influences beyond their control. Frequently it is the adults charged with their protection that knowingly or unknowingly drop the ball. Don't get me wrong, I get how hard parenting is, believe me. It is hands down the toughest job in the world. It takes patience, commitment, time and a little luck. Done well it changes who you are and if you are not whole when you start the process it is nearly impossible to get it right. Sadly there are a lot of damaged people out there raising children and they set in motion a gloomy legacy of hurt. If they are extremely lucky their kids find someone in their life to brush 'em off and love 'em through it. This might happen at church, at school, within the extended family unit or maybe even on the football field.

     Coaches work long, thankless, underpaid hours. Many are parent volunteers. These are the folks that give me hope. It is refreshing to see adults so plugged in. Parents and coaches who put their kids first no matter how many practices or games they have to drive them too, no matter how many times they stay up helping an exhausted kid with homework and no matter how many late night dinners they have to endure. Fast food still counts for dinner, right? These coaches are not only looking out for their kids, they are there looking out for the players of the parents that can't get off work early to get to practice. They take the new kid under their wing while staying on the student that is behind in math to be sure he gets all his work done. They are more than coaches they are role models and leaders. They are mentors and they help fill in the gaps that we as parents might miss. 

      Maybe not all coaches rise to this challenge but the football coaches at our school definitely do and I feel very fortunate to work with them. This week's pay it forward was simple: homemade pumpkin pie after practice for these dedicated guys. So here's to all those men and women out there who donate their time to test their patience with a bunch of wiry, energetic, off the wall children. Thanks for all you do and for helping our kids through that awkward and sometimes rough transition toward adulthood! You are the epitome of pay it forward!

Laurie   

Just Be

      I believe in taking a few minutes each day to just be. I have learned from years of experience, big work loads and high stress levels that learning to slow down, just a little every day is the difference between a freaked out Laurie and a "how can I help you" Laurie. It is easy, for me at least, to get wrapped up in the day to day grind. The responsibilities, the work, the duties, the "get er done" stuff can easily consume me if I'm not careful.

      I can usually handle the non stop rush for a few days or so before I begin to crack. First there is a quick, snappy response followed by an uncharacteristically mean one and finally I retreat inside myself, not noticing anything or anyone but the work at hand. What a waste of my time, of precious resources, of life. When I get like that I miss the big picture, the reason for being here. So, I meditate. I pray. I sit still, no matter how difficult that may be, and I let God calm me down. I give him permission, like he needs it, to run the show for just a little while.

      This daily break is a form of therapy for me and it truly works wonders.  It is during such sessions that I have the time to breathe, to think, to be inspired. I am always on the look out for the next pay it forward opportunity and I am sure that it is no coincidence that those ideas flow more easily during these down times. I have found through the years that most of my questions get answered if only I take the time to listen for the response.

      This weeks pay it forward idea came during one such be still session and it is such a simple one. This week I decided to do something nice for my favorite local businesses. I got a Yelp account and went online to write some reviews. It was such an easy thing to do but I know from being in business myself how helpful it is to read not only what you can improve on but what you are doing right. It is a difficult climate for businesses right now and as an owner and a manager it is frustrating sometimes to be in charge of so many other people. Everything they do reflects on you, good or bad. So this week, I decided to help them see the good and catch them doing something right. I wrote honest, heart felt reviews about the businesses that my family and I frequent on a regular basis and why we do so. I hope that it gives some overworked managers and their employees a boost today!

      I hope you have a wonderful day and a great weekend, and don't forget to take a minute or two to recharge you batteries and just be. :)

Laurie

Enjoying the Visit

      A few weeks ago I was certain that I was kissing my sweet grandmother goodbye for the last time. I guess Nana and God had other plans and I was thankful to be wrong yet again. Nana is still recuperating from her heart attack which is complicated by the Alzheimer's but this all could have been so much worse. She was literally on death's door. Now she resides at Dennett Road Nursing Home. I'm not sure she totally knows where she is but she seems happy to be there. She lights up when she recognizes one of her favorite nurses and tells her how much she loves her. She knows where her room is located, most of the time and seems content to rest there. She happily points out where she eats her meals and seems genuinely thrilled to see her new found friends. (If she happens to forget them, no worries, she usually starts liking them all over again tomorrow.) It certainly pays to be positive. The nurses love her and so do I!

      I really enjoyed my visit with Nana. My mother and I took her out to lunch and to get her nails done. What we did didn't matter. I just enjoyed being with her. We sat and talked in the lobby of the nursing home and I must say it was rather entertaining. I watched as the incredibly patient staff dealt with some of the more challenging residents. One lady was quite cranky and tried to pull the hair of the nurse that vainly attempted to return her to her room. One constantly plotted her escape when she thought no one was watching and the cutest one was a sweet, lost soul who kept wondering the halls and crawling into bed with any resident that left their door open. That caused quite a raucous to be sure!

      As I sat watching all of this I also saw some wonderful displays of human kindness and love. I witnessed a very caring nurse hug her patient and tell them that she loved them. I saw family members making their weekly visits with a couple of the cutest babies I have ever seen and I watched in awe the transformation from loneliness to pure joy as the residents greeted their visitors. I learned that it doesn't take much to get that sort of reaction.

      Nana has a friend there, her name is Joanne. As we sat chatting Joanne mentioned that some of the residents had been asking the administrators for a chess board. "One of the nice ones," she said. "The kind with a checker board on the back." I asked her if she would be able to find someone to play with. "Sure," she said. "I have a couple of friends who still like to play cards and would love to play chess." We joked with her that Nana use to be an awesome bridge player but nowadays when she plays cards she changes games on you midway through. You never really know what you are playing unless you ask. No worries. It makes things interesting and she usually wins.  

      I am sure by now you have probably figured out the pay it forward. Yeah, I just had to get them a chess board. I delivered it to Joanne who looked like someone just gave her an awesome Christmas gift.  She thanked me and made a beeline for the cafeteria tables where she happily set up her new chess set. By the time I left she had recruited a friend and was patiently reminding them how to move each piece. It did my heart good to make her smile if only for a little while.

      You know, I use to dread visiting hospitals and the like. Now because of my Nana, Joanne and some sweet residents of a remarkably well run nursing home, I look forward to it. :)

Laurie

   


     

Good Vibrations

      Some might say that I am a gifted hoarder. I have managed in the eleven years that I have worked at my current job to put together quite a plethora of art supplies. Now to the untrained eye these treasures might be mistaken for mere trash but to the art teacher things like toilet paper rolls, beads and yarn are crafter's gold. We don't see the world the same as other people. Where some normal person might see a milk carton we see a cleverly decorated piece of gothic architecture decked out in full Halloween splendor. They see a styrofoam meat tray and the art teacher sees the basis for a beautiful stamp design. So we are hoarders by our very nature. Art teachers carefully store supplies during the education years of plenty to get us through the inevitable years of famine. We have to prepare so that when the next politician comes along using all his infinite wisdom to convince folks that art doesn't matter and cuts our funding, we are ready!  

      This week I got an email announcing the first art meeting of the school year. Now to be brutally honest I was not terribly excited. It isn't that I don't love my job and all that goes with it but I already have quite a full plate at the present and well who really looks forward to another meeting? Anyway the follow up  email mentioned something about an art supply swap happening at the get together since many of the art teachers are currently on tight budgets if they are fortunate enough to have any art budget at all. The whole idea behind it is, well you know the cliche, one person's junk is someone else's treasure.

     So after class on Monday I was rooting through the cavernous art closet adjacent to the art room trying to get one more thing knocked off my list before I went home. One of my favorite students was helping me with my task by jotting down all of the items I might be willing to spare for this upcoming supply swap. At first it was just a boring -what can I donate to the group-what do I really not want anyway- kind of thing. Now quite honestly I was not too enthused with my task until something clicked, I stopped and said "Wait a minute. There is an opportunity here." My favorite student who also happens to be the president of Junior Civitans knows me well. She knows all about my little weekly projects. We looked at each other as if to say "Pay it Forward." I smiled and she smiled a big smile back. "Let's try an experiment." I said. She grinned. I told her about this theory of mine that what we put out there comes back. "It's like sending out good vibrations and waiting to see how those ripples effect someone else as well as yourself," I told her. "So let's pack a really cool swap box with good junk and stuff that folks would actually want, not just the bottom of the deck things I am willing to part with. I'm going to put in some really cool items that I would not normally give away and let's see how long it takes for something good to come back to me and my art classes." My sweet student lit up "Yeah, Mrs. Sloan. Let's do the experiment! Pay it forward!" Did I say that she is my favorite?

      The whole energy in the room changed. We started moving around the closet noting what we thought was cool and what we thought other teachers might ew and ah over and we had a ball doing it! All that is left now is to pack everything up and haul it to the meeting. I get to clear out my stuffed supply cabinet and help out some colleagues at the same time. Win/win.

      The coolest thing about this whole project was that it wasn't just the clutter in my closet that began to disappear. I also unloaded some nasty internal garbage that had been accumulating for far too long like fear, selfishness, and control. No more worrying that if I give those supplies away I might need them tomorrow. That's ok. If I haven't used them yet, I probably won't need them after all and someone else will benefit from them sooner rather than later. No more thinking that I worked hard to collect all of this stuff, this should be used for my students. Instead of helping just myself, I get the joy of knowing that another teacher benefitted from my endless hoarding and more importantly so did some other students. No more of the I have to keep all of this stuff because it gives me some sense of control over my circumstances. Let's face it, I was never that organized to begin with. :)

      Now instead of dreading the meeting, I am looking forward to it. I might just get the chance to make some other educator's day and I am curious to see if our theory of good vibrations holds true.
To be continued...

Laurie