Finding the Eagles

      The winter olympics came to a close last week in Sochi. One of my all time favorite events is the Alpine Skiing Competition and in particular the downhill. It is insane! I find it absolutely fascinating! Folks flying down a hill at a rate of 60mph with nothing between them and that nearby tree but some little ol' helmet.

      These daredevils perform their feats for the chance to take their place on that famous platform and claim that gloriously shiny token that declares them among the best in the world. I love seeing the expressions on the faces of their families and coaches when they win a medal.  It is obvious that it is not just the olympian's dream but their dream too. I can't help but wonder what gave that olympic dream wings. Was it the sole idea of the competitor or was their talent unearthed and nurtured by someone that happened to recognize that individual's amazing potential?

      You probably remember the story of the baby eaglet that was raised with a bunch of chickens. It seems that the farmer stumbled across a large bird's egg one day that had apparently fallen from a nearby nest. The egg appeared undamaged so the farmer, unable to reach the nest that it fell from and  not wanting to leave it out in the open where the baby would surely perish, took the egg home and put it in his chicken coop. When that egg hatched a beautiful baby eaglet emerged.

      Now that eaglet was stronger, bigger and way more majestic than those average farm yard fowl with which he was raised, but despite those obvious differences he was convinced that he was a chicken, so he acted like one. He picked and scratched in the yard. He even tried to cluck like a hen but his best efforts to conform were not enough. He often found himself gazing at the beautiful creatures that he saw soaring effortlessly in the air above him and something deep inside of him longed to join them. Still he did not take to the skies because he believed he was incapable of such flight. He believed he was a chicken and that limited mentality kept that powerful beast grounded.

      Then one day the farmer took that eagle high up on a cliff to release him. At first the young eagle just stood there, unsure of what to do next. Then from out of nowhere came another beautiful bird gliding on the wind, it's impressive wing span casting a shadow on the farmer and the eaglet below. That was all the young bird needed. He stretched out his enormous wings for the very first time and joined his brother in flight. Without the farmer that eagle might have lived his whole life never realizing his true capabilities. What a waste that would have been! It would be inherently wrong for that wondrous creature to live and die as a chicken without ever once soaring effortlessly across a wide open sky, doing that which he was made to do.

      As I gaze over the faces in my classroom I can't help but wonder what they will do with what they have been given. There are many days that we stumble across a talent buried so deep they never knew it was there. My favorite one will always be the day that I put a somewhat artistically challenged individual on the pottery wheel. He did not want to go. It took some persistent persuading. Art just wasn't his thing. No exaggeration, this one struggled with stick figures. So when he finally decided to give the wheel a try, I'm not going to lie, I was a little scared.

      I carefully gave him directions on how to throw a simple pot, followed by a complete demonstration, then I said a short prayer and walked away. When I returned only a few minutes later, much to my dismay, this child had thrown a beautifully fashioned pot. I asked him how he did it and he responded with a grunt and a shrug of the shoulders. I figured it had to be a fluke or beginners luck so I got him another ball of clay and said "Show me." He responded with some brief but expertly placed hand motions that resulted in yet another marvelous piece of pottery, obviously not a fluke! "Have you ever done this before?" I asked. "Nope," he said. I grinned and said, "Well my dear boy, I believe we just found your artistic gift!"

      Granted, there are no olympic events for pottery but this was one major win for this little guy. Suddenly he was an all star in art class and my new pottery assistant. My point is, that here was this natural talent hidden deep down that he may have never known about had he not been convinced to try.

      My husband coached track a few years back. He is the PE teacher so he is always keeping an eye out for athletic talent to recruit for one of the many teams he coaches. One day in gym class he noticed an awkward sixth grade girl running some laps. He immediately took note of what appeared to be an obvious natural stride. Now this child was not known for her athletic ability. She was an intellectual, not a jock. When Michael spoke to her mother about allowing her to participate in the national Hershey Track competition her mother laughed and asked if he was sure that he had the right girl. "My daughter is awkward and clumsy," she said, but Michael finally persuaded her to allow her child to compete. And compete she did! This girl ran all the way to a state championship! Now she is running for Georgia Tech on a track scholarship. There is no doubt in my mind that this little eaglet believed she was a chicken but she was wrong, she had the wings of an eagle.

 

      As a teacher I am a lifelong learner. I pray that my children and those I have taught will follow my example because there is always more to learn, more talent to discover and more eagles to be found.

Laurie

Brick by Brick

      Belief and faith are two totally different things. I believe in God, always have, always will, but faith, now that's a different matter entirely. Faith runs deeper. Faith involves unflinching trust. Faith does not come to us in its final form. It is a slow and tedious process. Rock solid faith is built one single, solitary brick at a time.

      I guess for me the first stone was put in place by Sister St. Monica at St. Peter's Catholic School. As an impressionable first grader I accepted her God as easily as I accepted her explanation of the color blue. It just was.

      At thirteen I was confirmed at the United Methodist Church in Piedmont, WV by Reverend Sawyers. He was a good man of great passion and conviction. His faith was pure and simple. I wanted what he had. I wanted to believe that deeply. Another brick slid into place.

      During college I often escaped to my Aunt Pam's house in Atlanta. Her faith was constant and unquestioning even during hard times. I didn't understand it then, but I think I'm beginning to now. Another brick.

      I met the most wonderful guy by sheer accident in New Orleans. He was different. He was cute and kind and selfless and confident all at the same time. The odds of meeting that guy in that place had to be astronomical. I knew it wasn't by chance. He was an answered prayer. Another brick.

      Our daughter was born with an undetermined illness. She was deteriorating before our eyes. I could tell by the look on the doctors face that we were in trouble. Then a group of folks at a small insignificant church started to pray. At the very moment that they held her up in prayer she began a drastic, inexplicable turnaround. Another brick.

      While I was still in the first trimester with my son, I over heard a conversation between two doctors. They said that this child would never make it to term if he lived at all. I refused to accept it. I prayed daily. I cried in the shower so no one would see. I begged. I surrendered and I delivered two weeks before term to a room full of doctors that simply couldn't understand. Another brick.

      Throughout my life God has slowly and painstakingly been laying a foundation of faith. He has given me every reason to believe Him but sometimes I still struggle.

      Teaching was God's idea, not mine. It has become my lifelong passion. I would never have chosen it but I am so very thankful for getting to go to a job everyday that I absolutely love. The Masters in History was His idea. I really wanted a Masters in Art History but every door I tried to go through on that one got slammed shut, so I prayed for guidance and all of the markers pointed to History. Once I completed the degree, I was sure that because God was part of that decision, that it would pay off. It did not. I was frustrated. I just dropped a boatload of cash on something that I might never get a return on. God, what were you thinking?

      Not only that, I was led to a state which has declared war on its teachers. No pay raise in six years. My bills continue to rise but my pay remains stagnant and ridiculously low. Why God? Why you lead me to a state that ranks last in teachers pay? How on earth am I going to be able to survive and take care of my kids? I felt a bit like the Israelites out in the desert. Why did you lead me here to starve? Sure you are providing a little through tutoring and some side jobs but God, that manna is getting old. Is this all you meant for me to do for the rest of my life? Just get by? Barely survive? Constantly struggle?

     I continued to keep lines in the water, so to speak. I had applied for nearly every job I could think of in my field, to no avail. Finally around Christmas, I got a nibble. It was a job at the local community college teaching American History, unfortunately it too fell through. So I did what any normal human would do, I gave up. I surrendered. I had nothing else left in the tank. Ok God, I resign to live in poverty.

     Then in the middle of the afternoon, on a snowy day, I got a call from a number I did not recognize. The lady on the line said she was calling from NCVPS. "Who?" I asked. "North Carolina Virtual Public Schools," she said. "You applied for a job with us about a year ago?" Holy cow! I had forgotten all about that! She and her colleague proceeded to interview me on the phone. When I hung up Michael said "Man you were talking fast, what was that?" Oh great, I thought, I blew it. The lady requested some information which I sent and she followed quickly with the next step of the hiring process. She wanted me to interview with her boss. Whew, I guess I didn't blow it after all. I sent out a prayer request before my second interview and I prayed myself as well.

      Through tears I ask God to show me the path He wanted for me. If this interview didn't go well, I would have to start looking at other employment options and that was Ok, just show me which way to go. Leaving teaching would break my heart, but I was willing to go if that was what I was suppose to do. Make the path clear, Lord and I'll take it. I don't understand but I trust you.

      About ten minutes into the interview, the lady told me to stop right there. My heart sank. How could I have possibly screwed this up so quickly? "You are exactly what I am looking for," she said, "and the job is yours if you want it." I had to fight back tears of relief.

      Now there are only about 700 online teachers in the state and only a fraction of them are art instructors. The chances of me getting this job were slim to none, especially after a year. So I asked her what about my application caught her eye. She said that it was the Masters in History.

      I thought God was torturing me with all of the jobs that fell through but He wasn't torturing me, He was closing doors because He had something better in mind. He was redirecting me. Did I mention that this new job pays significantly more than the college job would have? Oh and the lady from NCVPS also said that she might have another opportunity over the summer working on a team to create new online class modules that involve several different disciplines. When she told me about that one, all I could think was yeah, now He's just showing off. Path markers were clear now, as clear as if they were being lit up in neon lights. My prayers had finally been answered and the answer had come cleverly disguised as a years worth of unanswered prayers.

      It is interesting to me what surrender does. Surrender is faith, maybe even in its purest form. A preacher once told me that true faith is signing your name to the bottom of a blank page and letting God fill in the rest. You are in a place of complete agreement and acceptance. I continue to struggle with that but I believe this experience has laid yet another brick in the solid foundation of my faith wall.

      So for anyone struggling, hang in there. You never know when you will turn the corner and your prayers will be answered. You never know what God is quietly setting up behind the scenes. Remember you can still take it to Him in prayer. Even prayers of frustration are little acts of faith because you do so believing that He is listening and that can lead you one step closer to surrender. :)

      Have a wonderful week!

      Laurie

   

Let 'Em See Your Joy!

      We all have those people in our lives. You know the ones. The Negative Nellies. The Wild Eyed Complainers. The One Uppers. The "I Don't Really Hear a Word You Are Saying So I Will Just Wait 'Til You Stop Talking So I Can Start" Crowd. The mean, nasty cruel folks who derive great pleasure and often make it a point to participate in the misery of those around them. Given the current state of affairs in this world it is almost ridiculously easy for these sorts to not only survive but thrive. One viewing of the daily news or one discussion at the water cooler and they have ample ammunition for another day of anguish, negativity and pot stirring.

      I often wonder just what makes these folks click. To paraphrase ol' Dr. Phil, they must get some kind of pay off from their behavior or they simply wouldn't do it. I fight the urge at times to just confront them with his famous line, "How's that workin' for ya?" What could their pay off possibly be? I suppose, constantly dwelling on the bad things or the calamities of others makes them feel better about what is spinning out of control in their own lives. Maybe it fills some hole or takes the place of loneliness or sadness or pain. Perhaps it is simply a bad habit and that habit has now become too comfortable to let go.

      While I do my best to avoid these people I have to admit that sometimes I fall victim to their well laid traps. Their land minds are carefully placed and cleverly disguised. They take on a variety of forms. Sometimes they suck me into a slanderous conversation. Sometimes I say something I shouldn't. Sometimes I remain quiet when I know I should speak. Sometimes their remarks are addressed directly to me or more commonly about me with the sole intention of evoking a response. Sometimes, against all better judgement, I respond.

      Sometimes it is the bigger picture that gets to me. Sometimes it is the pure and simple fact that so many of the bad guys seem to prosper in this world and that prosperity is usually at the grave expense of someone else. Sometimes its the powers that be that get to me, the folks that hold our futures in their hands and only seem concerned with their own individual greed or advancement. Sometimes its just that Karma seems to be asleep at the wheel.

      As I observe these persons making their way through life, all I can do is pray for them and my reactions to them. I pray that one day their dark veil will be lifted and they might just see a glimmer of that beautiful light streaming in through the clouds. That their life, instead of being a string of constant maladies, might one day transform into a beacon of hope, something to look forward too, a source of joy. Until then though, I have to find a way to tolerate them.

      I have found one profound weapon in the face of such negativity and that weapon is joy. I have made up my mind that those people who would derive such pleasure in watching me suffer or fall will never be granted that satisfaction because although I will face setbacks, I will never concede. I will choose to focus on the gifts. I will wake up thankful every day. I have no control over other individuals and their actions but I do have control over mine. I choose Light. I choose Joy.

      One delightful byproduct of that simple choice is that it drives the Negative Nellies crazy. Think about it, if the mainstay of their existence is to rejoice in someone else's misery what better way to defeat them than to simply be happy, ridiculously, remarkably, inexplicably happy.

      So let 'em see your joy! :) Smile and make 'em wander what you are up to! Walk, no, run, heck turn a few cart wheels, on the bright side and watch those other folks and their negativity fade hopelessly into the background.

      So go on, have a wonderfully, joyful week!

      Laurie

   

Better Than Last Year

      One of the wrestling coaches at our school has a sign on his door that reads "Today Your Job is to Be Better Than You Were Yesterday." I love that quote. I would love to live that quote. Ah but then, life happens.

      During December and January I took what I would consider a writer's sabbatical. A little break was necessary to clear my head, readjust, regroup and just relax. The last few months got a wee bit out of hand. I was working too much, breaking too little and the inevitable burn out ensued. So I took some time off to establish a new direction, take a hard look at some life goals and reinvent the bucket list. Well, to be honest I didn't actually get that far yet but alas, like myself, it is a work in progress.

      Last year I set a goal to pay back the kindness of my parents through what else, weekly acts of kindness. I learned a great deal through my pay it forward deeds but probably the biggest thing was that I still have a long way to go in my quest to be a more useful human being and if I am to achieve that objective in this lifetime I will have to live yet another hundred years or more, maybe two. So for the remaining eleven months of 2014, I have decided it is time to continue my little endeavor and to carry on my quest for personal development by focusing on my problems less and on the good more. I want to be able to see the world and people through God's eyes because my view is often times faulty, cloudy and way too distorted. So I will continue to write. Not for glory, or riches but in the hope that one day when I reach the end of this particular journey, I might have inadvertently learned something.

      The faults, wrongs and injustices of this world could be readily argued but if one takes the time to look, mixed in among them like little jewels blinking in the sun, are so many blessings, gifts, objects of beauty, and moments of joy. What we choose to focus on makes all the difference! Do we take the easy, wide, down hill road and focus on the negative or do we choose every single day to look at life not through rose colored glasses but through the lens of light. Nobody, anywhere that I have ever found, can deliver on that "rose garden," that Lynn Anderson sang about in 1970, (dating myself on that one) so perhaps it is time to stop complaining that roses have thorns and begin thanking the powers that be that those thorns still have roses. No matter what, we always have the gift of choice at least as far as what goes on in our own hearts and minds. It is all a matter of focus. This year, I choose to focus on the good, the inspiring, the beautiful and the joyful. This year my job is to be better than last year!

      Here's to a wonderful 2014!

      Laurie