True Success

      I have been thinking a lot this week about what it means to have a successful life. Our culture would have us believe the old adage "He who finishes with the most toys wins." I fell prey to that one myself once upon a time. It is easy to believe that true success involves some tangible markers like a large house, nice clothes, a little bling and a fancy ride. I have none of those things. I couldn't even begin to tell you what the current fashion trends are and my car is so old that the paint job probably wouldn't be able to withstand a high powered pressure wash, not that I would even bother. At some point it just doesn't matter anymore.

      My idea of success has undergone a few changes through the years and to be totally honest, it is still a work under construction. I use to have a poster that hung in my college dorm room of this gorgeous mansion with a six car garage that housed a remarkable collection of sports cars including a Lamborghini, a Ferrari, a Porsche, well you get the picture. Anyway the poster read "Justification For Higher Education." I remember thinking "Yeah, I might live in a shack but I will drive a car like that one day!" Man, did I have a lot to learn. Today those cars wouldn't even be on my radar and I think maybe, that is a good thing.

      I think that true success involves learning how to look past the material stuff and start really caring about the heart stuff. It requires a restructuring of the human ego so that we learn to value one another's needs more than our own. I think one way God achieves this type of transformation is by giving us children since, as my dear mother would say, the fact that they are still alive is evidence that we have come a long way. :)

      I think another valuable way that God teaches us to love is through our families, friends and the oh so unlovable folks that are always creeping into our lives without permission. For me, one of the best "love" teachers in my life was my grandmother. Marianna listened when no one else would, (or when the rest exited the room from sheer exhaustion) she empathized, she cared, she attempted to understand and she loved me when I was quite frankly, unlovable. I had no idea what a remarkable thing that was until later in life when I became a teacher and started mentoring my own students. All any child wants, heck all any human being wants is for someone to listen, really listen.

      Success is, to paraphrase Mother Teresa, loving them anyway. Being there for that bratty child who you would really like to send packing but understanding that on a deeper level it is always the annoying ones that need you the most. Success is knowing that time spent loving someone through something is never, ever time wasted. Success is the realization that schedules and to do lists are great but God is in the interruptions. It is understanding that we are here to ease one another's sorrow, to help, to care, to mend. All those awesome cars and beautiful clothes won't matter one big ol' hill of beans if we don't learn how to love.

      The trouble with stuff is that we have to work so hard to get it, to keep it and to maintain it, that we don't have enough time for the things, no the people that really matter. My Nana taught me that. She always had time for me. She still does. In honor of her, this weeks pay it forward will be a series of cards and letters sent to my Nana's nursing home attempting in my own feeble way to help her understand why her life was so incredibly valuable and successful. I just finished my first one and I cried all the way through it. I have to be sure that she understands what an important role she has played in my life and how truly grateful I am for her lessons.

Laurie