My Sunshines

      Sunshine. That was the nick name I gave to my boy child when he was just a baby because no matter what, he always seemed to be in a good mood and that mood of his was contagious. I remember going into his room to get him out of his crib first thing in the morning and he would be laying there happy as a clam playing with his toes and laughing away. I use to sneak in while he was napping and lightly tickle his cheek. He would smile every time, even in a deep sleep. He was and still is my sunshine, my light. Now a days the boy is taller than me but he is still that same charming, laid back cutie with an even temper and a cheshire cat grin. I think sometimes God gives us people like my Colton to remind us that there is always a reason to smile.

      Vickie is the secretary at our school but she is no normal secretary. Vickie is Tucker Creek's version of "Super Secretary." Her special power is the ability to kill with kindness. Fortunately she is the first person you meet when you walk through the door. I say fortunately because Vickie is truly one of the nicest people I know. I have yet to find her in a bad mood and I've been working there for eleven years! She is calm, cool and collected even when she is fielding a phone call from an irate parent or getting attitude from a surly middle schooler. She handles it all with remarkable grace, a trait I envy. I asked her once how she manages to do that job everyday and still be so happy. "That's easy." She said.  "I pray... a lot."

      Vickie's personality is much like the boy child's, pure sunshine. She uses her job, her position, her opportunities, to bring joy to the world. She makes you feel better no matter what is going on in your life or hers. She sports that smile and that great sense of humor and before you know it, you are smiling too.

      Try as I may, there have been days at work, when I am just not me. I think that I am hiding it pretty well but Vickie never fails to see right through my thin facade. She will send me an email letting me know that she knows and that she is praying for me. She always ends her emails with "Remember, I love you" and "God loves you." I can't tell you how many times her kind words came right when I needed to hear them. She is such a blessing to me and the hundreds of other people she encounters everyday at work. Her heart, her joy, her smile and her attitude are infectious. I am so thankful that I get the honor of working with such a wonderful soul.

      For this week's pay it forward I wanted to do something nice for someone who adds so much sunshine to the world so I made Vickie a little sign for her desk. It is something she tells me all the time with her emails, her actions and her smile- I love you and so does God. I want to strive to be a "Super Vickie" to the people I encounter in my life because this lovely lady has proven to me that it doesn't take much to make a big difference and I am so very grateful for the lesson. :)

Laurie

Everybody Needs Someone To Believe in Them

      When I was young I thought I could conquer the world. There was absolutely nothing that I could not do. I was sure of it. Why did I believe in myself so completely? That's easy, because my Mom told me to. :)  For as long as I can remember my mother convinced me that I could be anything that I wanted to be. She said it with conviction and I bought what she was selling. I was just a child, so I took her words to heart and I aimed for the moon.
 
      As I grew older I realized that there may have been a bit of a flaw in my mother's thinking. I was no dummy but I wasn't exactly a genius either. School had always been fairly easy for me but that did not translate to a high math score on the SAT. I wanted to get into a good college but that one test seemed to be an insurmountable road block. It was probably as much a mental issue as an intellectual one. Mom watched my self esteem drop and like she had done so many times in the past she came to my rescue, this time by hiring Mr. McGettigan as a tutor to help prepare me with a thorough math review. Mr. McGettigan was a remarkable teacher. He had a powerful gift, he could explain math in way that made sense, even to the likes of me. When I first started with Mr. McGettigan, I was still in a very confused state. Sure I understood enough to get by on the tests at school, but I didn't really get the big picture. I would get so frustrated and I was pretty hard on myself. Mr. McGettigan insisted that I keep trying. "You'll get it." He said. "You know this stuff. Keep working. It is in there." He told me that over and over again. Anybody else in their right mind would have given up, but not Mr. McGettigan and before long those letters intermingled with the numbers in a way that finally started to make some sense. When I got to Clemson all of this information eventually came together in a manner that was nothing short of miraculous. It clicked. Finally. Once that happened, there was no stopping me. I finished every math class within the engineering field right up to and including differential equations. I was never the smartest person in any of my classes at Clemson, not even close, but because of the faith, hard work and determination of two very important people I believed that I could do anything, so I did!

      I never did earn that engineering degree. I decided that it just wasn't for me, but I still needed to prove to myself that I could do it. I needed to know if I could finish those ridiculously hard math courses on my own before I let myself transfer out of the major. So as silly as it sounds, that is exactly what I did and after I conquered Diffy Qs, I changed my major.

      It took me a long time to realize just how important it is to believe in yourself. Now as a teacher I get it. A child can only go as far as they believe they can. Sometimes they lack the faith to realize their potential. That's when they need a Mr. McGettigan or a very stubborn mother. I was lucky enough to have both.  So for this week's pay it forward, I am going to carve some time out of my schedule to tutor a very special student that I believe is harboring a ton of untapped potential. (It seems that I may have found a way to use all of that math after all.) This is my way of honoring a great teacher and a fabulous Mom that inspired me to aim high. I did not exactly reach the moon Mom, but I may have hit a small star.  :)

Laurie

 

Family

        

        "A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it." 

                                                                           Mary Karr, The Liars' Club

        Family. That word means so many things to so many people. We have many families. We have our work families, church families, blended families, immediate families and extended families. My students are my family, my dogs are my family and best of all, my friends are the family that I get to choose. All these groups have one thing in common. At any given time, one or more of these family members has the capacity to drive me completely insane and I am quite certain that I have returned the favor on various occasions too numerous to count.

So what makes up a family? The definition that I like best is “a person or people related to one and so to be treated with a special loyalty or intimacy.” Right below that it said “a group of people united in criminal activity.” Hmm. :)  

My personal definition would go something like this:  A group of people closely involved in one another’s lives in such a way as to be able to offer support, love, loyalty, acceptance, time and the occasional free baby or dog sitting service. They must be willing to endure frequent emotional outbursts without passing judgement, they must endure bad cooking with a smile while cleaning their plates, they must be willing to give up a bite of their cheesecake, a sip of their milkshake or a few of their fries willingly and without comment, they must listen to stories hundreds of times without exhibiting that dazed, far away look, they must suffer through bad jokes without giving the punch line away or rolling their eyes, they must tolerate button pushing in all of its forms and develop response mechanisms that do not lead to a week long fight or objects being thrown, but most important of all they must accept fellow family members for who and what they are without trying to change them to match their preferences or personal ideals. Family is about loving someone despite their faults and short comings. It is about being there through thick and thin, the good, the bad and even the ugly. 

All families are messy, some are just messier than others. That’s because human beings are imperfect and we seem to thrive on drama. Most of us put on our best face in public but at home the masks come off and we get real. Ever notice that we are often nicer to those that we work with than those that we live with? I know I am guilty of that one. Everyone else gets my best and my family, God love ‘em, gets what is left. That is too bad because occasionally I really do have the capacity to be cool. :) 

My friend Ann has been working hard to show a very special member of her family how much she loves and appreciates her. She has planned this wonderful surprise birthday/retirement party for her mother. She has spent hours pulling this thing together and she has put so much of herself into it. By paying it forward to her mom she is experiencing the joy of giving her best, not just what is left over, to a very important member of her family. It is something that I am sure she and her mother will never forget. When we look back at our lives one day we will never say, “I wish I had not spent so much time and attention on them.” Most likely it will be the opposite sentiment. “If only I had done a little more.” 

Ann asked me once if I thought she was silly going all out and overboard on this party for her mom. I told her that I thought it was the nicest thing I had ever heard of anyone doing for their mother and that she would never regret it. I truly want to be more like that. Pull out all the stops and let those family members know how crazy I am about them and how much I love them despite their colorful quirks! 

I just had to get involved in Ann’s party project so for this week’s pay it forward, I made Ann a small painting of a daffodil to give to her mother as a birthday gift. It is the flower of March, the month her mother was born. I put the date of her party on the back. I hope that it will serve as a momento for this wonderful occasion, a reminder of how hard her daughter worked to make her feel special and loved. Much joy, laughter and love to you and your mom, Ann. I hope that your party is a raving success!

Laurie

A Place To Call Home

      I am a small town girl. I hail from a little dot on the map called Westernport in the beautiful mountains of western Maryland. I have lived in quite a few cities and larger towns but I guess I never really felt at home in any of them. You can take the girl out of the small town but not the town out of the girl. :) I currently reside in a modest sized military town located in the coastal region of North Carolina. My family and I have lived here eleven years. The name of it is Havelock. It is not uncommon to hear folks from neighboring towns refer to it as “Havenot.” I guess in some respects that account is accurate. Here in Havelock we don’t have a mall or any fine shopping establishments, we don’t have too many things to keep the younger crowd busy, no fancy night clubs or amusement parks. There are no theaters in which to enjoy a play or concert, no museums or cultural attractions, but for all its shortcomings, Havelock is still a great place to live. It isn’t the establishments, businesses or attractions that make a place a home, it is the people and in that regard, Havelock lacks nothing. 

      This past weekend, I spent a cold Saturday afternoon at the high school football field with hundreds of other people from town in order to raise money for a very special family. The event was called the Glenn Poole Celebration in honor of a local boy that nearly died due to an accidental drowning last fall. His recovery was nothing short of a miracle, but his twelve week hospital stay left the family with some daunting medical bills. So the high school along with various churches in the area got together to sponsor the fund raiser which involved a 5K run, cornhole tournament and walkathon. There was food, funnel cakes and prizes. There was also a whole lot of love.

      One of the first people I ran into at the event was Lori Mills. I met Lori and her husband Mike when our sons played little league together years ago. Lori and I would chat it up at the ball games while waiting for our sons to bat. Well, I would chat it up and Lori would keep the book. I am sure that doing the stats for the game was challenging when I was around. I tried so hard to be quiet but we had so much in common, and well, if you know me at all you know that quiet isn’t really my strong point. Rodney Helms, the team’s coach, use to joke that the book was a lot more accurate when the two of us were kept apart. Anyway, during those practices and games a friendship was forged. It is difficult to explain but there is something about Lori that draws you in. She is nothing short of amazing. She is one tough lady that has lived through her own living hell. Lori’s daughter, Haley, was killed in a tragic car accident when she was only thirteen. Anyone else might have given up or become bitter and withdrawn but not Lori and her husband Mike. They continue to give back to the community every chance they get. Instead of simply going to the Glenn Poole event, they participated. Mike played in the cornhole tournament and Lori was perusing the stadium quietly taking candid shots to make into a photo CD to give to the Poole family. As I talked to Lori I realized that even though she had been through so much she continues to be that wonderful person that I met on the ball field all those years ago. She didn’t let her circumstances destroy her, instead she used them to make her and her family stronger. She and her husband are an inspiration to me. Lori in particular is everything that I strive to be; loving, caring, tough, firm, witty, thoughtful and faith filled. I am so very thankful for our “coincidental” meeting, not that I believe in coincidence. Truth be told, I believe that Lori was put in my life to be a blessing and a source of inspiration. She has already filled that tall order and then some. It’s people like Lori and Mike Mills, Rodney and Angela Helms and the numerous others that turned out last Saturday that make Havelock, NC such a nice place to live. I am proud to call Havelock home and grateful to its residents for their acceptance and openness. I have felt the love from this community numerous times throughout the years and I am humbled to be considered a part of it. 

      So for our pay it forward project I got the kids out of bed last Saturday morning and told them something I am sure I have never said before and will most likely never say again; “Here’s some money. We are going the the Glenn Poole Celebration. I want you to over spend on everything and don’t come home with so much as a dime left.” The look of confusion on my son’s face that morning was priceless! He looks at me and asks, “Are you sure?” I answered with an affirmative “Yep, spend it all and have fun.” About half way through the event I located my son with a half dozen hotdogs in his jacket. He noticed my quizzical expression and said, “You said to spend it all!” That I did. We left that place with our spirits raised and our bellies full. 

      “Havenot” I think not! Havecommunity, Havekindness, Havehope, Havesupport, Havelove, that’s MY Havelock. Love this town! Thanks for the caring hearts, the acceptance and the constant encouragement. You will forever hold a special place in our hearts! :)

Laurie