My Superheroes

      This past weekend we had some wonderful people over to our house to enjoy some much needed down time. No these were not famous folks or wealthy socialites or A-listers, but they are superheroes in my eyes nonetheless. The guest list consisted of teachers, their spouses, their kids and a policeman and his beautiful family. Of all the people that we have invited to our house, it is with these folks that I feel the most at ease and comfortable. There were no shallow or forced conversations, no one-upping, no networking, no judging, just friends enjoying one another's company. There is such a positive energy from this group and under the circumstances I find that utterly amazing.

      Our state has become infamous lately for its backward progression in many areas. One of the most notable is in public education. The state government has decided to cut the state's education budget so deeply that it will likely never recover. Those in charge here have put greed and the almighty dollar ahead of the state's future by devaluing their teachers, the education process and worst of all, their children. The reason for their decision to abandon us is simple, we cannot afford to fund their never ending avarice. Teachers simply do not have the money to get the state lawmakers attention, neither unfortunately do the thousands of children whose greatest crime was to be born into a poor or middle class family that happens to reside in NC.

      It breaks my heart to see so many wonderful, talented teachers leave North Carolina to pursue work elsewhere. They simply have no choice. At some point, each and every teacher here will be forced to choose between the financial security of their family and a state that they love. Unfortunately for many working as a teacher in North Carolina will no longer be a viable option. The mass exodus has already begun. Teachers like everyone else, have children to raise and older parents to care for and they can't do it on a salary that barely covers the monthly bills. When you devalue educators to such a degree it is the children that pay the price because their teachers are working two and three jobs in order to make ends meet. How can they possibly do their best when they are exhausted and spread so terribly thin?

      Our governor just recently approved a raise for his cabinet because he said that they needed to keep up with the cost of living. What about teachers?  With the exception of one year in the past six our pay has been frozen. That one year, an election year, we got a 1% raise which amounted to a mere $35 in my monthly paycheck after you take into account the fact that my health insurance costs have been steadily increasing every single year. My pay simply cannot keep up. The joke at work is that soon we will all be forced to leave because we will be paying NC for the privilege of working here.

      All of the people that come to hang out and relax on Fridays have every reason to be complaining and whiny and just plain nasty but you know what? They are not. They are as loving, as kind, as jovial and as fun as they have ever been, despite the best efforts of some very mislead, selfish and cruel individuals. I think it says a great deal about their character.

      My superheroes may not wear capes but they sport some bright, encouraging smiles. They may not be capable of scaling buildings with a single bound but they produce some phenomenal one liners and are relentless in their good natured teasing. They may never be wealthy but they understand the value of things that money cannot buy like integrity, generosity, loyalty, honesty and friendship. So my pay it forward for any Friday that I can, is to host a group of wonderful, giving people who are hanging in there together. Here's hoping that there are brighter days ahead.

Laurie

Just In Case I Forget...

      I was never blessed with a good memory. Sure I can remember the names of my students, where I'm going and where I live, most days, but I often walk in a room and forget why I went in there and I have gotten to the point in the classroom that I tell the students concerning a piece of their artwork "Remember where I put this because you know I won't." I joke that it is early onset Alzheimer's disease but I think that the real problem is my work load. When you are constantly busy, and let's face it that is just my nature, you tend to forget stuff. The brain is just a little overwhelmed and I guess when that happens in my sorry cerebrum, the memory part just shuts off. Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

      My daughter is leaving for college in less than a month. I have mixed feelings. I am ready for her to go and God knows she is ready to leave, but I will miss having her under my roof every day and night. Everyone that I have talked to about having their first born leave the nest talk about the lonely, sad drive home from college. Mom said that she cried the whole way back from Clemson. One coworker teared up just telling me about her experience with her son even though it was years ago. I have a feeling I will be the same way. It is bitter sweet. I am so excited and even envious of her. She has her whole life ahead of her and it is such a wonderful time. I want her to have all of those experiences and chances in life. I hope her ride is a good one but before she embarks on it, I need to tell her some things just in case I forget in the rush and heat of the moment. The time will be here before I know it and since my memory has a habit of failing me, I'll just jot it down now.

      My Dear Madison,

      Just in case I forget...

      I will ALWAYS love you, no matter what. This holds for anything and everything you can ever think of to get yourself into. After all, you have a creative mother and who knows how that particular gene might manifest itself in your personality once you are on your own.  Just know that no matter what kind of mess you find yourself in good or bad, and no matter how many of my boring lectures you may have to endure, I will always love you. Nothing can ever change that!

      If you need me, I can and will be there. No questions asked. No matter what. Nothing in my world is more important than you.

      I know that I have held high expectations for you and that I may have pushed you at times, but just remember that the only reason I held the bar so high is because I was certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that you could not only reach it but would clear it with plenty of room. I know you hate to hear this, but I was right. :)

      You are capable of so much more than I ever was and I am in awe of everything you have accomplished. If you stopped today, and never added another item to your impressive list, it would be enough. Set your goals high because I know you can reach them and don't be afraid to dream because you just never know.

      I wish you a life of love, joy, peace, prosperity and happiness. When in doubt about what really matters remember that line from that old Eagles song, "Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds boy, she'll beat you if she's able. The Queen of Hearts is always your best bet."

     I pray that the lessons you have to learn will be easy and that you learn them the first time they come around because I can tell you from experience if you don't, they will be back.

     Chase your passion and you will never be disappointed. You only go around once so make every second count. As John Keating tells his students in Dead Poets Society, "Make your lives extraordinary." I can't wait to see what you do with yours!

      Love Always and Forever,

      Mom

   
   

The Bumper Crop

      You can't tell it from looking at my yard but I am an avid gardener. I love the idea of planting something, nurturing it and seeing it develop into a marvelous blooming beauty. It just seems like a mini miracle to me that all that wonder can come from a couple of tiny seeds. I have the same awe when it comes to the vegetable bed. I guess truth be told I am a bit of a tomato snob. I have no use for those big tasteless red orbs the grocery store sells. I would much rather have a vine fresh sweetie from my own backyard.

      So this spring I planted six tomato plants as I do every year and hoped for the best. After bouts of bug infestations and disease this years hard working plants produced a bumper crop, much to my culinary delight! I couldn't wait to sink my teeth into that wonderful fruit and devour my first real BLT of the season. These tomatoes did not disappoint but after dozens of BLTs, bushels of bruschetta and barrels of salsa, I realized that I had more tomatoes than my family and I could ever possibly eat. Normally I would have started canning, but this year I decided to take advantage of an easy pay it forward opportunity, so I began giving them away, a few here, a half dozen there. And you know what? A funny thing happened. The more tomatoes I gave away, the more I had to give.

      For a long time I had it in my head that doing things for other people would take too much of my time, too much of my money and well too much of me. It would drain me in one form or another so I went through life gathering instead of giving. All the while priding myself on how efficient, organized and savvy I was, but something was missing. I think now looking back over the past six months I know what it was, joy. I was happy enough but I was missing out on some simple, small, wonderful joys. What I failed to realize is that by giving back in any form, I reap far more in the long run and these fruits are the type that don't go bad.

      There is great satisfaction in bringing happiness to another human soul. By giving, we connect and through connecting with one another we cultivate deeper, more meaningful relationships. There is ridiculous abundance in releasing your time, gifts, talents, stuff and yes even tomatoes to the world around you. If there is one lesson I have learned from these pay it forward experiences, it is that you cannot out give God. The more you do for others the more it comes back to you. So I will continue to give away the tomatoes, keeping an eye out for that next PIF opportunity. Enjoying in the meantime the simple pleasures that come from changing my focus. :)

Laurie

A Chance to be on the Giving End

      When Michael and I started teaching eleven years ago, it meant enduring not only a huge career change but a big life change as well. We were starting fresh in a new state with no family or friends to fall back on.  We were facing two mortgage payments, lots of bills and some major financial strain from the move. New job stress would have been enough for our little brood but our kids were also faced with leaving the only home they had ever known.  Fortunately we had some wonderful people to help ease us through that difficult transition.

      One of the teachers at work went out of her way to help. She sat in on our classes and offered good sound advice on everything from classroom control to organizational tips. She patiently answered questions and listened to our fears. She assured me that I could do this and encouraged me daily not to give up. She took Michael under wing and helped him tremendously with his coaching duties. She was an excellent teacher that cared enough to show a couple of newbys the ropes. To top it off, at the end of that initial month when we were flat broke before our first paycheck, she even went so far as to buy us our weekly groceries. We tried to tell her no, but she simply wouldn't have it. We were so grateful for her ridiculous kindness. She was one of those wonderful people that inspired us to help others when we got the chance.

      This week I have been given one such opportunity. We have a new teacher onboard at our school and my boss asked me and several others to look out for her as this will be her first time ever in a classroom. For my pay it forward project this week I am going to put some small goodies in her box each day along with an inspirational quote or note. I am going to stop by and check on my buddy and make sure that she has everything that she needs and I'll be looking for any opportunity to make her transition just a little bit easier. It feels good to finally be on the giving end. Receiving is nice but giving is a thousand times better. :)

Laurie

The Grown Up Fit

      Recently my family had the wonderful opportunity to take a marvelous vacation in Europe on a river cruise. It was the trip of a lifetime! Ah, but few things in this world are perfect and our delightful trip was no exception. The region had just experienced some severe flooding, they had record temperatures the week we visited and the air conditioning on the boat had some issues. OK let's be honest. The ac quit, died, froze up or to use the formal German term, went "kaputt." Being on that boat the day the ac died was like being in a sealed tin can that was left on top of the kitchen stove top with one of the burners on. Needless to say the inside of that cruiser wasn't the only thing that got hot. Tempers were flaring. I felt bad for the staff. They were a wonderful group of people that bent over backwards to make sure that everyone had a fantastic time but unfortunately they also made up the front line when something went wrong.

      Annette was the girl that worked the front desk. I'm not sure what her formal title was but that was her general job description. She would hand out and collect the shore passes, provide wifi information, exchange dollars for euros and answer any general questions one might have. Like all the crew on the Vienna, Annette was never in a bad mood, always pleasant and upbeat. She was patient and kind and just a genuinely nice girl.

      The day the ac broke Annette was feeling the heat from two distinct hot air sources. The first, more benign, came from the guts of the boat but the second came from the unattractive mouths of the disgruntled guests. Now I have seen some fits in my life. I raised two children through the terrible twos or threes as they were in our house. I have taught some unruly students who had no clue what a boundary was let alone how to behave within the confines of one, but I have rarely seen a grown woman act in such a way as I did that day. This lady was flailing her arms, shouting obscenities, and doing everything but rolling around on the ground kicking and screaming. Wait, she was screaming. I don't think rolling around on the ground was exactly an option as I am not quite sure that she could have gotten herself back up. Anyway, dear Annette was taking a beating. Those words were landing with the same intensity as if she were being hit with carefully calculated punches. I stood there on the stairs observing the scene with my mouth wide open, stunned. I remember thinking, I know you're hot lady but how does freaking out help? If anything it turns up your internal thermometer even more.

      I waited for the "lady" to leave and I approached Annette. At first I wasn't going to intervene. This was a conversation that I just happened upon. It was technically none of my business, but that never stopped me before and besides this was a good chance to pay it forward. This young lady had just gotten stomped on pretty good and she needed someone to lift her up and dust her off.  I went up to the desk looked at Annette and said "Somebody is having a bad day." Annette replied, "She's not the only one." I told her not to pay any attention to that woman. "This is her problem, I said, not yours. Don't let her tell you that you aren't wonderful, because you are. You are awesome at your job. I have watched you all week. You are professional, mature and kind and that is a great deal more than I can say for her right now. So keep your chin up and know that there is at least one guest on this boat that thinks you are da bomb!" I grinned and she grinned back. I'm still not sure that "da bomb" translated very well but she got the general idea. "Thanks," she said.

      Funny thing was that later that night at dinner I was discussing the incident with Michael and he said that he did the same thing with the cruise director who was under a barrage of attacks by some fiery seniors. Well the ac did get fixed, not because someone pitched a fit, but due to the fervent work of the ship's electrician. All in all we were only out completely for a half a day or so and we spent most of that time off the boat roaming around the town in which we were docked. It was really no big deal.

      It is interesting to watch how people behave in less than ideal situations. I'll confess I'm guilty of being cranky when I don't get my way but I'm not much on fit throwing, even less so now that I've seen  one in action. Perhaps one of the greatest character tests might be how we treat folks in service roles. Food for thought: Dave Barry wrote "A person that is nice to you, but rude to the waiter is not a nice person."

      Have a great week!

Laurie

Even Small Acts of Kindness Count

      When I started writing this blog, I had no idea where it would lead. I have found that these little weekly experiments have prompted a change in my thoughts and my actions. Sometimes it is the really small changes that turn out to have a big impact.

      Like most people we get bombarded at work with a daily barrage of emails and that is after the system weeds out the junk mail and spam. My usual method is to read only those emails that pertain directly to me and delete everything else. This year however, I made it a point to answer all of the emails that asked for nominations for some honorable teaching award or some well paid fellowship. The old me would not have wasted time on anything that did not directly benefit me in some shape or form. This year because of the pay it forward thing, I decided to answer a few of these emails and nominate some colleagues for some well deserving awards.

      There was this fellowship sponsored by the North Carolina Museum of Art. They were looking for math and science teachers that could help write and promote inspiring lesson plans incorporating art and technology into the core subjects. The email was sent to everyone that had worked with the museum looking for possible candidates. Now normally I would have sent this email to the little trash can but this year I am always on the lookout for a good pay it forward project so I figured what the heck, I'll forward this email to one of the most talented teachers I know who just happens to be licensed in math and science.

      John Scarfpin is not your average teacher. He isn't your average guy for that matter. I remember the last big hurricane we had here in North Carolina. John was one of the first people I saw out and about. He wasn't assessing his own damage like everyone else, no John went checking on his friends and colleagues to see if he could help in anyway with clean up, by running to the store for supplies, etc. I worked with John at the time but I work with a lot of people. I never expected to see any of them at my door just to see if I was Ok or if I needed their help in anyway.

     As a teacher John is phenomenal, always looking for new and unusual ways to inspire his students. He would never shy awake from any sort of work especially if it meant that he might have the opportunity to reach just one more kid. I admire him and aspire to be more like him. So when I read about this fellowship, John was the first person that came to mind. I forwarded the email with the necessary information on the fellowship to him not thinking that anything would become of it. Then a couple of weeks ago in true Scarfpin fashion I got a thank you note from John letting me know that out of all of the hundreds of applicants across the state, he had won. He was grateful for the information and wanted to thank me for remembering him. It was a wonderful opportunity and I am so happy for my friend. I can't wait to see what awesome, inspiring lessons he creates.

      All I could think about was how many times I missed out on such an easy pay it forward opportunity. I am now more dedicated than ever to promoting the great teachers that I have the privilege of working with and to think, it was all because of a simple pay it forward quest that I almost didn't do. Lesson learned. Even small, seemingly insignificant acts of kindness can have a big impact. :)

Laurie

Art Lessons

      One of the highlights of my childhood was art lessons on Mrs. Schramm's back porch. Mrs. Schramm, a wonderfully patient older lady that was a terrific artist in her own right, gave lessons to two or three kids at a time from the comfort of her own back porch. It had been finished off as an addition of sorts with windows and a door. It didn't have heat but it had lots of brilliant light and the enclosure provided a place to paint year round. When it got cooler the area was warmed by the heat from the main house that came out the interior door to the kitchen which Mrs. Schramm never bothered to close. I'm pretty sure the cats would have objected. They had free reign of the entire house. The numerous felines kept us company as we carefully attempted to get our masterpieces down on canvas. There was one that took a special liking to me and enjoyed curling up behind my easel for his afternoon nap. I loved him but I was so allergic that my eyes would swell shut if I touched him, so I kept my distance. We had an understanding that cat and I. I'd leave him to his endless slumber and he wouldn't come around to the front of the canvas and turn me into an inflamed looking zombie child.

      My art lesson was always right after school. Mrs. Schramm knew that we would be starving so at each easel she generously provided a plate of homemade cookies and a large glass of milk. The fresh baked cookies alone were worth the price of admission. As I recall she didn't charge very much to begin with. It was never about the money anyway.

      My painting station was situated so that my back was to the outside door and on my right was a large multi paned glass window which allowed for wonderful light. That room was a painter's paradise. The light was perfect around four in the afternoon. It was a soft, white light. It's funny, I can't remember what I did last week, but I can remember almost every detail of that porch. The way it smelled, the stand I put my art box on, the clothespin she used to keep my inspiration picture in place, the big tree I passed in the back yard walking in, it is all as clear as if it were yesterday. Things were simple then. I went to school and one day a week I got to paint. I looked forward to that hour and a half. Mom said that she would drop off one child and pick up another. During the time in between that whiny, combative girl miraculously turned into a delightfully happy soul. My weekly metamorphous occurred in under ninety minutes. The transformation began as soon as I hit that door. There was something about that place that provided me with true, uninterrupted happiness. I felt connected to it. I felt connected to Mrs. Schramm, like kindred spirits.

      Mrs. Schramm's beautiful personality was part of the total experience. She was happy, relaxed and pleasant. She enjoyed teaching us to paint. She never got bent out of shape, no matter how immature and off task that boy in the corner became. I did notice however that after a few such sessions he did not return. No great loss, the cat and I never liked him anyway.

      Art and painting in particular provided me with an outlet from whatever ailed me. It made everything go away for a little while and it gave me a chance to recharge my batteries and get back in touch with the person that I was meant to be, not the stressed out perfectionist that too often dominated my moods.

      Now as an art teacher myself I get to see the transformative power of art in a child's life every day at school. I am always amazed at how quickly the human spirit can heal itself given enough time and an ample amount of paint. I began offering art lessons to students who loved my class but wanted the experience to last more than a semester. I have had a few takers for this summer and as I was discussing the particulars with them after school I noticed that one of my favorite students became a little sad. I think that she would have been the first to sign up had it not been for the cost. So I decided that this would be a great opportunity for a pay it forward. I pulled her aside and told her that I would love for her to take some art lessons and that I would offer them to her free of charge as a way to pay her back for all of her hard work in my class. She is constantly helping me with everything from Jr. Civitan's projects, to art room cleaning duties, to assisting other classmates. She is a talented, deserving young lady and I can't wait to see what see creates! After all, it was never about the money anyway.

Laurie