Letters To Nana

      I remember my first year of teaching. To say that I didn't have a clue was the understatement of the century. Boy did I have a lot to learn. No problem, I had 125 middle schoolers that knew it all and had no qualms about showing me the ropes! It was an interesting transition for a woman that did not have an education degree and talked her way out of public speaking class in college. How ironic was that? There I stood in front of 24 students with nothing but my quick wit and a strange sense of humor to get me through. My boss had faith in me though and when it got tough that first year, his faith kept me going.

      Mr. West interviewed me for the two jobs I was qualified to teach: art and spanish. I will never forget that interview. At the end of it he asked me which job I wanted. Now I was desperate for work so I naturally told him I would do whatever he needed me to. He said "That's now what I asked you. Where is your heart? Is it in the art room or the spanish room?" I didn't hesitate. "The art room" I said. "Then art is what I will hire you to teach." His advice was simple. "If you love these kids, you will be good at what you do. If you don't, then you'll know it's not for you." So I took the art job thinking it would only be for a year or so until I could find another opportunity in the design field. That was eleven years ago. Funny how life works out. I see Mr. West from time to time and he always gives me a hug and asks "You still lovin' that job I gave you?" My reply is always the same. "Yes Sir. Best job I ever had."

      Now your first year teaching you have very few sick days and no leave accumulated. If you have young kids which I did at the time you use what little time you do have for when the kids get sick. So at the end of my first year, I had no time left, no days that I could take off. That was a problem because at the end of that school year my grandfather was dying.

      Pop had heart issues and wasn't expected to live very long. I was very close to my grandfather and I simply had to go home. I went into Mr. West's office and told him my dilemma. I needed to go but I had no time. Fortunately it was near the end of the school year and it would only be work days that I would be missing but still I was nervous asking for time off as the new hire. Mr. West asked me about my grandfather and patiently listened to my story. He told me what I had heard him say to other colleagues throughout the year, "Family comes first, go home." I loved him for that. I would have eagerly walked through fire for that man!

      Because of Mr. West, I got to spend two weeks or so with my Pop before he passed. Mr. West had given me a wonderful gift. He allowed me the opportunity to be with my grandfather and tell him everything that was on my heart. When Pop passed I had such peace. There was nothing undone. Nothing unsaid. No regrets. I promised myself that I would make sure that I had that same opportunity with all my loved ones. I started writing my grandmother letters. It allowed me the chance to stay connected to her even though we lived miles apart. I wrote every week for awhile and then as it always does, life got in the way. Every week became every two weeks then every month, then hardly at all. I let life's problems distract me from what really mattered.

Nana's Letters

      Nana's letters are in a box on my dresser. I read them when I'm having a bad day. I love them because they are her words, written by her distinctive hand and they make me feel like I am a part of her daily life. In the beginning her letters expressed her sadness over Pop's passing. She was lost at first, but the letters began to slowly regain their happy tone over time. Oh there were plenty of weeks we went down memory lane.  I love the stories about her and Pop and their lives together. Nana is in her late eighties now and I don't know how much time I have left to talk to her or to relive her stories. For that matter, we don't really know how much time we have left with anyone, do we? All I know is that I am blessed to have two wonderful Nana's that are still here with me and I simply cannot take that for granted any longer. So this week's pay it forward is about relaunching the letter writing campaign. Each week I will write a letter to Nana Browning (we may be the only two people alive that still write letters) or make a phone call to my other Nana, Nan Naylor (she's not much on writing.) Neither of these ladies were ever too busy for me when I was growing up, so I think I can turn off the TV for an hour or so a week and write or call them. They deserve to be a priority again. "Family comes first." Truer words were never spoken. Maybe it's time I started living Mr. West's motto again. It would be a shame to let such wise words go to waste.  :)

Laurie

Later and Greater

      I just celebrated a birthday not too long ago and the folks at work made it so very special and fun. I had a delicious homemade cake, lots of hugs, some cards, a balloon and a slightly off key rendition of the Happy Birthday Song by some of my favorite seventh grade students. It was wonderful! What struck me most about this birthday was that it took so little stuff to make me feel special and so very loved. All it took were some thoughtful people who went out of their way to let me know that they cared. That got me thinking, how could I do that for someone else? How could I make them feel as special as I did on my birthday? How could I pay that forward?

      I rummaged through my desk until I found a copy of an old employee information sheet that had on it addresses, phone numbers, and you guessed it, birthdays! I began checking off the ones in January and found that a friend of mine that had just retired would be celebrating her birthday soon. This friend is a little shy so I won't use her name, instead I will just call her the firefighter. You probably have a few of those at your workplace. The firefighters are the first ones on the scene. They are the ones we depend on to make things right, to ease our stress, to take care of the inevitable, ill timed disaster. In our school the fire may have started because the substitute assigned to a classroom got sick or maybe there was an emergency and no sub could be found. There may have been a traffic pile up so teachers were running late and classrooms needed to be covered. It could have been testing day and some of the volunteers did not show. Whatever sparked the crisis the firefighters are the first ones there to help provide relief in whatever way they can.

      When I first started teaching I remember thinking that those people were crazy. Why on earth would you rush up to the office to willingly give up a valuable planning period without even being asked? No sir, my method was more of a "fly low" variety. Just stay out of the way until the trouble had passed. It is like the car wreck along the side of the road, you have the firefighters, the EMTs  and the police all there to help the injured, clear the wreck and keep the traffic moving. Then you have the dreaded rubber neckers. They are not interested in helping but want to know what happened so they can tell everybody what they saw, snap a picture or two and update their Facebook and Twitter status. Finally there are the  drivers who are cussing at the rubber neckers to get out of the way so they can get to their destination in a timely manner. I would probably fall into the later category. Oh, it is not that I am heartless or rude, I am just a "git r done" kind of girl. I have things to do and work to accomplish and items to check off my to do list so get out of my way and let me rule the world in peace... please.  :)

      My friend however, is a helpful firefighter. She sees the big picture. She understands the concept of reaping and sowing. She is busy planting some seed. Everybody knows that story but recently our preacher added a new twist to it that made me think. He called it the later/greater principle. Basically it means that what you sow comes back, later and greater. Consider the tomato plant. You sow a tiny seed and soon you have a large plant with lots of fruit. Later and greater. The same thing holds for bad seed. It comes back riding that dreaded karma bus, later and greater.

      Thanks in part to my friend, I am beginning to understand why the firefighters of the world do what they do. So to pay it forward this week, I got a balloon, a card, and a yummy chocolate thing from Panera and surprised my favorite firefighter with a birthday gift. She never saw it coming. I also decided that I am going to keep checking that birthday list this year and let my wonderful colleagues know just how much I value and appreciate them.

      Happy Birthday to my favorite firefighter! Hope you have the opportunity to experience many more later and greaters!


  Laurie

Low Maintenance Friends

      I have a good friend named Ann. Ann is the type of lady that is easy to have in your life. She is always there for me, good times and bad. She never judges me, she will take my secrets to the grave and every time I am with her I feel a little better about myself and my situation (whatever that might be at the time).

      Ann is what I like to call a low maintenance friend. Her friendship does not require much time or effort. When we do spend time together we just pick up right where we left off without skipping a beat. It is nice to have people like that in your life but sometimes, I am ashamed to say, I take them for granted. I tend to put a great many things ahead of my friendships and as I get older, I am living to regret that choice. There are times in life when you just need someone to listen. In my world, I can either pay for a therapist or talk to Ann. Ann is much cheaper and way more entertaining than a therapist. She does not try to fix me. She listens and she empathizes and most important of all, she tells me that it will be all right. I think that she sincerely believes it too. Many times I remain unconvinced, but I still leave her feeling more hopeful, nonetheless.

      Ann just became a grandmother. She was overjoyed and showed me pictures of a beautiful baby girl. As I went out to pick up a gift for the baby, I thought about doing the usual, picking out an adorable tiny dress or two, putting it in a cute little gift bag and tossing in a pink signed card shaped like a baby animal. Then I remembered the pay it forward thing. Paying it forward is about taking it a step further. It is about doing something nice for someone beyond the store bought gift. It is about taking the time to tell the people that are important to me just how special they are, right now. So I got out a pretty blank card and I told Ann just how lucky that baby girl is to have her as a grandmother and how fortunate I am to have her as a friend. I hope she realizes how much good she does in the world just by being her. I am so very thankful for my friend and this year, as part of my pay it forward project, I pledge to be a better one in return. Thanks Ann for giving me such a fine example of how it is done!

Laurie

The Cool Thing About Giving

      Well I am only one week into the love ripples project but already I have experienced some amazing blessings. 

      First of all, I was brainstorming some awesome new lesson plan ideas with a few students at the end of the day when another teacher friend of mine came in with a few art magazines that he wanted to give me to use. I started flipping through them and there on the pages were lesson plans for the exact same topics the students and I were just discussing. They were beautifully written, in amazing detail, with fantastic sample pictures and all I had to do was present them! Coincidence? Hmm...

      Then Sophie's doctor called saying that she found the medicine that Sophie needed at a drastically discounted price. That was such a blessing! Sophie is our dog that has copper build up in her liver and has been very ill. Treatment is expensive but her vets have been great and have helped us so much, especially Dr. Ward here in town. What an awesome guy!

      Then for the first time ever, I had a Birthday weekend in which the weather was beautiful! It was in the seventies all weekend, in January! North Carolina has mild winters but not like this. More importantly, I got to spend time with my hubby who made this Birthday great! 45 doesn't look so bad after all. :) 

      Sure these things might have occurred even if we had not been doing the pay in forward projects but I like to think of them as Karma in action. Oh, I am use to the Karma bus hitting me, just not quite in this manner. This way is MUCH more pleasant. ;)

      Laurie

That One Special Kid

      Every teacher has one. That one student that touched your heart in a way that you will never forget.  I have been blessed to have taught a handful of those kids and one such sweetie is the topic for this week. Her name is Nikki. This young lady has a heart of gold. She was an officer in Junior Civitans in middle school for which I am the advisor. Junior Civs is a service organization so it is not surprising that it does not always appeal to many middle schoolers. Nikki was different. She had a heart for people and wanted to help wherever there was a need. She threw herself into it with enthusiasm and joy. I think that is the one thing I remember about her, not that she helped but HOW she helped. Nikki did it with joy in her heart and she made everyone around her feel better just by being near her. What a gift!

      I ran into Nikki the other day at her part time job and she was just as warm and caring as always. I  felt the joy again and I realized just how much I have missed her.

      As I was getting ready to head home the other night at the end of a particularly long day my daughter, Maddie, texts me asking if she could go to dinner with Nikki and friends to celebrate Nikki's Birthday. I said "yes" and I was just about to say "Tell her Happy Birthday from me too!" when I remembered my pay it forward pledge. I could just send her a message via my daughter or I could do a little more. I headed to the store to pick up a card and while I was there I spotted some beautiful flowers. I wrote Nikki a heartfelt note and gave her a little Birthday spending money. I hurried back to give everything to my daughter to take with her to dinner. Then I offered up a short prayer, that God might bless Nikki and all of those kids there celebrating with her. That he might allow her to experience as much joy and happiness as she gave me in the three short years that I had the privilege of teaching her. Thank God for all the Nikkis of the world, for they make the ride worthwhile!

      Laurie

Week One, Victim One

  

      So, the hubby and I have decided to set a goal of one good pay it forward deed per week. The kids are in on it as well. At first I thought it might be a challenge to find one person to help each week. I just have the sneakin' suspicion that that will take care of itself! You see I was getting a late start as the whole pay it forward idea did not occur to me until the second week in January, so I needed to find two victims, uh I mean two people to help. No problem. There were people to assist coming out of the woodwork this week. See, I told you, it all works out!

      Introducing victim number one: Dale Boyd.

THE Coach Boyd

      Dale Boyd is an awesome guy. He is a great coach, a devoted husband and the kind of friend we would all like to have. Dale has a way of keeping life in perspective. You see, Dale's wife Connie has battled cancer, not once but twice. Her most recent bout nearly killed her. Dale fought with her. He left his teaching job to move to Arkansas where she grew up because at the time the doctors only gave her  months to live and Connie wanted to go home. She underwent treatment there and fortunately her body responded. While not cured completely, Connie now has years to live versus months. With this new prognosis, the couple decided to move back to the area to be near the beach and the water. Dale is here now, returning before his house in Arkansas sold to help my husband, Michael, coach wrestling. Hopefully, Connie will be joining him soon. Goodness knows he needs her! 

      Dale loves wrestling. It is his passion and it is hard not to catch some of his enthusiasm for the sport. Anyway, Dale has been renting a house at the beach in their old neighborhood and since Connie is not here to watch him, he has been doing what any red blooded American man would do when left to his own devices, he has been eating way too much Bojangles! So Colton, my son, and Michael decided that Coach Boyd would be our first victim. I say victim versus good deed recipient because he did have to endure my cooking after all. :)  

      So our first pay it forward project was to have Coach Boyd over for dinner. We had calzones with homemade dough, mom's recipe. They were pretty good if I do say so myself. More importantly, we really enjoyed one another's company. This is the first dinner guest we have had in eons. About the only entertaining that Michael and I do is occasionally entertain the idea of entertaining. Our excuses are always varied and weak; the house is too dirty, we don't have enough time to cook, we are too busy, our dog doesn't like people, I could go on. This past week we decided that our ineffective housekeeping skills were not enough to keep us from providing a good friend a nice home cooked meal. And even though the colors in my house may have scared him a bit (I am an art teacher after all) he did not mention the dust bunnies even once.  ; )  

      The funny thing is that Dale has helped us more than we have ever helped him. He and Michael share a coaching bond and for me, Dale is the go to guy when I am feeling a little sorry for myself. There is nothing like cancer to make you understand what really matters. All else seems to pale in comparison. If I tell Dale about an issue I am having he'll give me a look like "Does it really matter?" No, it usually doesn't. Thanks Dale and Connie for showing us what true courage looks like and for reminding me not to sweat the small stuff. May you win your battle yet again. You are both constantly in our prayers!

      Laurie

An Attitude of Gratitude

      This blog is about giving thanks in tangible ways because sometimes saying thank you is simply not enough.

      My family and I have so many reasons to be thankful. My husband and I have great jobs that we love, healthy children and a good relationship. We also have fantastic parents. I know that I personally feel as though I have won the parental lottery. My folks are constantly there for me physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially. The love, attention, guidance and friendship that they have given are priceless gifts that I could never fully repay.

      This past year has been a tough one for our household and without the help of family, I don't think that we would ever have made it. Finances crashed, budgets went bust, stress became the norm and depression set in. As always Mom and Dad were there to help. Their regular visits were bright spots in an otherwise dark and dreary time. When things got tough they took us out to eat, bought us groceries and gave us money for expenses when we needed it most. More importantly, they helped us laugh, smile and relax. They became our lifeline. Thank God for lifelines!

      While their help is greatly appreciated it always makes me feel guilty. The last thing I ever want to be is a drain on them in any way. Their amazing generosity this past year and at Christmas time left me grateful but also determined. I was going to pay them back, somehow. I decided that the best way, perhaps the only way that I could ever hope to return their many favors was to pay it forward. After all, this is what they are all about. I am a teacher so there are plenty of opportunities daily to make a difference. Most of the time however, I am too busy or wrapped up in my own world to respond as effectively as I might. This year though, that is going to change. My focus will no longer be on just getting by and how to come up with the money to support my family each month. Oh, I will continue to work hard and try to keep some hooks in the water as far as my additional employment opportunities might go, beyond my 9 to 5, but my focus will be drastically different. I will search for people that I can help in one way or another. My theory is that once my focus changes, my life will change and if I'm lucky so will a lot of other lives as well.

      Someone once told me that each act of kindness, no matter how small, is like a rain drop hitting the surface of a still body of water. It creates a ripple. One little ripple. No one knows how far it will travel but it keeps going long after the drop has broken the surface of the water. This year it isn't going to be the money, or the cleaning, or my job or even my time off that takes top priority in my life. It is going to be the ripples because I have a lot of time to make up for, a lot of favors to return and a great many blessings to repay. Too many times I was too busy or too broke. I missed the opportunity to disturb the water's tranquil veneer. My little part of the ocean remained calm, like a sheet of glass. Now, the forecast is calling for rain.  :)

      Laurie